Saganing Eagles Landing Casino & Hotel

Saganing Eagles Landing Casino wraps up expansion project

Saganing Eagles Landing Casino wraps up expansion project submitted by nico116nico to US_News_Today [link] [comments]

คาสิโน Soaring Eagle ใน Mt. ยินดีที่จะเปิดให้บริการแม้จะมีข้อ จำกัด ใหม่ ๆ

คาสิโน Soaring Eagle ใน Mt. ยินดีที่จะเปิดให้บริการแม้จะมีข้อ จำกัด ใหม่ ๆ

รายงานที่น่ายินดีบนหน้า Facebook พวกเขาจะยังคงเปิดอยู่แม้ว่าผู้ว่าการ Gretchen Whitmer จะประกาศข้อ จำกัด COVID-19 ใหม่จากกระทรวงสาธารณสุขและบริการมนุษย์ของมิชิแกน

คำสั่ง MDHHS ระบุว่าคาสิโนจะต้องปิดในอีกสามสัปดาห์ข้างหน้าเริ่มตั้งแต่วันพุธ

การเล่นเกมที่คาสิโนของชนเผ่าไม่อยู่ภายใต้ข้อบังคับของรัฐตามที่คณะกรรมการควบคุมการเล่นเกมของมิชิแกนตามบทความในข่าวดีทรอยต์
ในเดือนมีนาคม 2020 Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort, Saganing Eagles Landing Casino & Hotel และ The Slot Palace & Bingo Hall ปิดโดยสมัครใจเป็นระยะเวลาสองสัปดาห์แรกตามคำสั่ง“ Stay Home, Stay Safe” ของ Governor Whitmer หลังจากนั้นคาสิโนยังคงปิดโดยสมัครใจเป็นระยะเวลานานซึ่งสอดคล้องกับคำสั่งติดตามของผู้ว่าการจนถึงวันที่ 28 พฤษภาคม 2020 และจะเปิดอีกครั้งในช่วงเวลาที่คาสิโนอื่น ๆ ทั่วประเทศเปิดอีกครั้ง
ในระหว่างการปิดคาสิโนทีมผู้บริหารคาสิโนใช้เวลาเรียนรู้เกี่ยวกับโคโรนาไวรัสและใช้แผนสุขภาพและสุขาภิบาลเพื่อเปิดอีกครั้งอย่างมีความรับผิดชอบ แผนนี้มีข้อกำหนดให้แขกและสมาชิกในทีมทุกคนสวมหน้ากากซึ่งปัจจุบันเป็นมาตรการด้านความปลอดภัยที่สำคัญที่สุดเพียงมาตรการเดียว คาสิโนได้ว่าจ้าง“ ทีมทำความสะอาด” ที่ทุ่มเทให้กับการทำความสะอาดเครื่องสล็อตและพื้นผิวสัมผัสอื่น ๆ อย่างต่อเนื่อง สล็อตแมชชีนอื่น ๆ ทั้งหมดถูกปิดเพื่อให้เกิดความห่างเหินทางสังคมด้วยเครื่องหมายแสดงระยะทางสังคมที่ติดตั้งในสถานที่ที่เหมาะสมทั่วทั้งสถานที่ มีการติดตั้งวงเวียนอะคริลิกในพื้นที่ปฏิสัมพันธ์ใกล้ชิดรวมถึงเกมบนโต๊ะทั้งหมด มีการติดตั้งสถานีสุขาภิบาลมือและสถานีเช็ดอนามัยเพิ่มเติม แขกและสมาชิกในทีมทุกคนมีการตรวจสอบอุณหภูมิก่อนเข้าคาสิโนทางเข้าts911
วันนี้เรามีประวัติความสำเร็จ ประสบการณ์ของเราเกี่ยวกับการแพร่เชื้อ Coronavirus ทำให้โปรโตคอลด้านความปลอดภัยมีประสิทธิภาพโดยเฉพาะอย่างยิ่งข้อกำหนดให้สมาชิกในทีมและแขกทุกคนสวมหน้ากาก การติดตามผู้ติดต่อบ่งชี้ว่าการแพร่กระจายของไวรัสโคโรนามักเกิดขึ้นนอกสภาพแวดล้อมของคาสิโนซึ่งอาจไม่มีการสวมหน้ากากและอาจไม่มีการปฏิบัติตามโปรโตคอลอื่น ๆ
ด้วยเหตุผลเหล่านี้เราจึงตัดสินใจที่จะให้สถานที่เล่นเกมของเราเปิดให้บริการภายใต้แผนสุขภาพและสุขาภิบาลที่เข้มงวดของเรา เราไม่เชื่อว่าการปิด Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort, Saganing Eagles Landing Casino & Hotel และ The Slot Palace & Bingo Hall จะช่วยลดการแพร่ระบาดของไวรัสโคโรนาได้ หากมีข้อมูลใหม่ที่บ่งชี้เป็นอย่างอื่นเราจะทบทวนการตัดสินใจนี้อีกครั้ง เราจะตรวจสอบโปรโตคอลในทุกส่วนของการดำเนินการของเราต่อไปและทำการปรับเปลี่ยนตามความเหมาะสม
submitted by ta911asia to u/ta911asia [link] [comments]

Turner Classic Movies (U.S.) Schedule For The Month Of September, 2020 (All Airtimes E.S.T)

Tuesday, September 01, 2020
(1:15 AM) (drama) L'Eclisse (1962/126 m/Michelangelo Antonioni)
(3:30 AM) (western) Lost Command (1966/129 m/Mark Robson)
(6:00 AM) (suspense) The 39 Steps (1935/87 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(7:45 AM) (suspense) The Lady Vanishes (1938/96 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(9:30 AM) (suspense) Foreign Correspondent (1940/121 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(11:45 AM) (suspence) Suspicion (1941/99 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(1:27 PM) (short) Men In Fright (1938/11 m/George Sidney)
(1:45 PM) (suspense) Stage Fright (1950/110 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(3:45 PM) (suspense) Dial ‘M’ For Murder (1954/105 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(5:32 PM) (short) Third Dimensional Murder (1941/7 m/George Sidney)
(5:45 PM) (suspense) The Wrong Man (1956/105 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(7:34 PM) (short) Wrong Way Butch (1950/10 m/David Barclay)
(8:00 PM) (premiere) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 1) (2019/60 m/Mark Cousins)
(10:45 PM) (documentary) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 1) (2019/60 m/Mark Cousins)
Wednesday, September 02, 2020
(12:00 AM) (premiere) Olivia (1951/96 m/
(1:45 AM) (premiere) Sleepwalking Land (2008/96 m/Teresa Prata)
(3:30 AM) (premiere) Seven Beauties (1975/117 m/Lina Wertmuller)
(5:30 AM) (premiere) Je tu il Elle (1975/86 m/Chantal Akerman)
(6:57 AM) (short) Over The Counter (1932/18 m/Jack Cummings)
(7:15 AM) (premiere) Madchen In Uniform (1931/89 m/Leontine Sagan)
(9:00 AM) (comedy) La Cienaga (2001/101 m/Lucrecia Martel)
(11:00 AM) (musical) Yolanda and the Thief (1945/108 m/Vincente Minnelli)
(1:00 PM) (musical) Call of the Flesh (1930/100 m/Charles Brabin)
(2:45 PM) (musical) Fiesta (1947/102 m/Richard Thorpe)
(4:30 PM) (musical) Pan-Americana (1945/84 m/John H. Auer)
(6:00 PM) (romance) Latin Lovers (1953/104 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(8:00 PM) (musical) Sweet Charity (1969/148 m/Bob Fosse)
(10:45) (drama) All That Jazz (1979)
Thursday, September 03, 2020
(1:00 AM) (musical) Cabaret (1972/124 m/Bob Fosse)
(3:15 AM) (premiere) Star ‘80 (1983/103 m/Bob Fosse)
(5:15 AM) (documentary) A Well Spent Life (1971/44 m/Les Blank)
(6:00 AM) (suspense) The Window (1949/73 m/Ted Tetzlaff)
(7:15 AM) (comedy) Having Wonderful Time (1938/70 m/Alfred Santell)
(9:30 AM) (drama) Picnic At Hanging Rock (1975/107 m/Peter Weir)
(10:30 AM) (adventure) Corvette Summer (1978/105 m/Matthew Robbins)
(12:15 PM) (romance) A Stolen Life (1946/107 m/Curtis Bernhardt)
(2:15 PM) (drama) The Southerner (1945/93 m/Jean Renoir)
(4:00 PM) (comedy) The Seven Year Itch (1955/104 m/Billy Wilder)
(5:49 PM) (short) Mackinac Island (1944/9 m/James A. FitzPatrick)
(6:00 PM) (romance) Summer of ‘42 (1971/104 m/Robert Mulligan)
(9:00 PM) (drama) The Story of Louis Pasteur (1936/86 m/William Dieterle)
(9:45 PM) (drama) The Story of Dr. Jenner (1939/10 m/Henry K. Dunn)
(10:00 PM) (drama) Sister Kenny (1946/116 m/Dudley Nichols)
Friday, September 04, 2020
(12:01 AM) (short) See Your Doctor (1939/8 m/Basil Wrangell)
(12:15 AM) (drama) Dr. Ehrlich's Magic Bullet (1940/103 m/William Dieterle)
(2:15 AM) (drama) Arrowsmith (1931/99 m/John Ford)
(4:15 AM) (adventure) Yellow Jack (1938/83 m/George B. Seitz)
(5:47 AM) (short) Her Honor, The Nurse (1956/8 m/Harry W. Smith)
(6:00 AM) (drama) Madame Curie (1943/124 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(9:15 AM) (documentary) Hollywood: The Dream Factory (1972/51 m/Mark Woods)
(9:30 AM) (comedy) Some Like It Hot (1959/122 m/Billy Wilder)
(11:45 AM) (comedy) The Apartment (1960/125 m/Billy Wilder)
(2:00 PM) (comedy) The Prisoner of Second Avenue (1974/98 m/Melvin Frank)
(4:00 PM) (comedy) The Sunshine Boys (1975/111 m/Herbert Ross)
(6:00 PM) (comedy) The Goodbye Girl (1977/111 m/Herbert Ross)
(8:00 PM) (premiere) The T.A.M.I. Show (1964/113 m/Steve Binder)
(10:15 PM) (documentary) Let The Good Times Roll (1973/99 m/Sidney Levin)
Saturday, September 05, 2020
(12:00 AM) (documentary) Elvis: That’s The Way It Is (1970/95 m/Denis Sanders)
(1:45 AM) (documentary) Divine Madness (1980/94 m/Michael Ritchie)
(3:30 AM) (documentary) ABBA: The Movie (1977/97 m/Lasse Hallstrom)
(5:30 AM) (documentary) MGM Parade Show #4 (1955/26 m/?)
(6:00 AM) (crime) The Biggest Bundle Of Them All (1968/108 m/Ken Annakin)
(9:00 AM) (premiere) MGM CARTOONS: The Chump Champ (1950/7 m/Fred [Tex] Avery)
(9:09 AM) (documentary) Game Warden (1955/8 m/Harry W. Smith)
(9:18 AM) (short) Seattle: Gateway To The Northwest (1940/9 m/?)
(9:28 AM) (drama) Isle Of Fury (1936/60 m/Frank McDonald)
(9:30 AM) (serial) TERRY AND THE PIRATES: The Fatal Mistake (1940/17 m/?)
(10:00 AM) (premiere) POPEYE: Fleets of Stren'th (1942/7 m/Dave Fleischer)
(10:08 AM) (adventure) Elephant Stampede (1951/71 m/Ford Beebe)
(11:30 AM) (short) Frontier Days (1945/17 m/Jack Scholl)
(12:00 PM) (suspense) The Prize (1963/135 m/Mark Robson)
(2:30 PM) (western) Stagecoach (1939/96 m/John Ford)
(4:15 PM) (drama) East Of Eden (1955/118 m/Elia Kazan)
(6:30 PM) (comedy) Bananas (1971/82 m/Woody Allen)
(8:00 PM) (documentary) The Kids Are Alright (1979/109 m/Jeff Stein)
(10:00 PM) (premiere) Shine A Light (2008/122 m/Martin Scorsese)
Sunday, September 06, 2020
(12:15 AM) (documentary) The Decline of Western Civilization (1981/100 m/Penelope Spheeris)
(2:15 AM) (documentary) The Decline of Western Civilization, Part II: The Metal Years (1988/93 m/Penelope Spheeris)
(4:00 AM) (documentary) This Is Elvis (1981/102 m/Malcolm Leo)
(6:00 AM) (musical) On An Island With You (1948/108 m/Richard Thorpe)
(9:00 AM) (musical) Easy To Love (1953/96 m/Charles Walters)
(10:00 AM) (crime) Night Editor (1946/67 m/Henry Levin)
(12:00 PM) (romance) The Enchanted Cottage (1945/92 m/John Cromwell)
(1:45 PM) (drama) The V.I.P.s (1963/119 m/Anthony Asquith)
(4:00 PM) (romance) Crossing Delancey (1988/97 m/Joan Micklin Silver)
(6:00 PM) (romance) To Have and Have Not (1944/100 m/Howard Hawks)
(8:00 PM) (documentary) The Song Remains The Same (1976/138 m/Peter Clifton)
(10:30 PM) (documentary) Jimi Hendrix (1973/102 m/Joe Boyd)
Monday, September 07, 2020
(12:15 AM) (premiere) Jimi Plays Monterey (1986/49 m/D.A. Pennebaker)
(1:15 AM) (premiere) Shake!: Otis At Monterey (1987/19 m/D.A. Pennebaker)
(1:45 AM) (premiere) Fade To Black (2004/110 m/Patrick Paulson)
(5:30 AM) (premiere) Say Amen, Somebody: The Good News Musical (1982/101 m/George T. Nierenberg)
(7:15 AM) (premiere) A Poem Is A Naked Person (1977/90 m/Les Blank)
(9:00 AM) (premiere) Louie Bluie (1985/61 m/Terry Zwigoff)
(12:15 PM) (premiere) Big Time (1988/87 m/Chris Blum)
(2:00 PM) (documentary) Don’t Look Back (1967/96 m/D.A. Pennebaker)
(4:00 PM) (premiere) Neil Young: Heart Of Gold (2006/104 m/Jonathan Demme)
(6:00 PM) (premiere) Festival (1967/98 m/Murray Lerner)
(8:00 PM) (documentary) Monterey Pop (1969/79/D.A. Pennebaker)
(9:30 PM) (documentary) Woodstock: The Director’s Cut (1970/224 m/Michael Wadleigh)
Tuesday, September 08, 2020
(1:30 AM) (musical) A Hard Day’s Night (1964/87 m/Richard Lester)
(3:15 AM) (documentary) Go Go Mania (1965/70 m/Frederic Goode)
(4:45 AM) (documentary) Robert Osborne’s 20th Anniversary Tribute (2015/47 m/?)
(6:00 AM) (crime) Armored Car Robbery (1950/68 m/Richard Fleischer)
(7:30 AM) (crime) The Asphalt Jungle (1950/112 m/John Huston)
(9:30 AM) (crime) High Sierra (1941/100 m/Raoul Walsh)
(11:15 AM) (crime) Rififi (1954/118 m/Jules Dassin)
(1:30 PM) (crime) The League Of Gentlemen (1960/114 m/Basil Dearden)
(3:45 PM) (comedy) Ocean’s 11 (1960/127 m/Lewis Milestone)
(6:00 PM) (suspense) Jack of Diamonds (1967/108 m/Don Taylor)
(8:00 PM) (premiere) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 2) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
(9:15 PM) (premiere) El Camino (1963/95 m/Ana Mariscal)
(11:15 PM) (documentary) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode #2) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
Wednesday, September 09, 2020
(12:30 AM) (premiere) Lovely & Amazing (2001/91 m/Nicole Holofcener)
(2:15 AM) (premiere) Wanda (1970/103 m/Barbara Loden)
(4:15 AM) (premiere) The Watermelon Woman (1995/85 m/Cheryl Dunye)
(6:00 AM) (premiere) In The Empty City (2004/90 m/Maria Jopo Ganga)
(7:45 AM) (silent) The Adventures of Prince Achmed (1926/66 m/Lotte Reiniger)
(9:15 AM) (premiere) Entre Nous (1983/111 m/Diane Kurys)
(11:30 AM) (drama) Jeopardy (1953/69 m/John Sturges)
(1:00 PM) (suspense) Cry Terror! (1958/96 m/Andrew L. Stone)
(3:15 PM) (drama) The Devil Makes Three (1952/90 m/Andrew Marton)
(5:00 PM) (suspense) Dial 1119 (1950/75 m/Gerald Mayer)
(6:30 PM) (suspense) Beyond A Reasonable Doubt (1956/80 m/Fritz Lang)
(8:00 PM) (comedy) Mr. Belvedere Goes To College (1949/83 m/Elliott Nugent)
(11:30 PM) (premiere) Blondie Goes To College (1942/77 m/Frank R. Strayer)
Thursday, September 10, 2020
(1:00 AM) (musical) She's Working Her Way Through College (1952/101 m/Bruce Humberstone)
(3:00 AM) Start Cheering (1938/78 m/Albert S. Rogell)
(4:30 AM) Strictly Dynamite (1934/71 m/Elliott Nugent)
(6:00 AM) (drama) Mademoiselle Fifi (1944/69 m/Robert Wise)
(7:15 AM) (suspense) The Curse of the Cat People (1944/70 m/Gunther V. Fritsch and Robert Wise)
(8:30 AM) (horror) The Body Snatcher (1945/78 m/Robert Wise)
(10:00 AM) (suspense) Mystery In Mexico (1948/66 m/Robert Wise)
(11:15 AM) (western) Blood On the Moon (1948/?/Robert Wise)
(1:00 PM) (crime) Born To Kill (1947/92 m/Robert Wise)
(2:45 PM) (drama) The Set-Up (1949/72 m/Robert Wise)
(4:15 PM) (romance) So Big (1953/102 m/Robert Wise)
(6:00 PM) (drama) Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956/113 m/Robert Wise)
(9:00 PM) (war) So Proudly We Hail (1943/126 m/Mark Sandrich)
(10:15 PM) (comedy) MAS*H (1970/116 m/Robert Altman)
Friday, September 11, 2020
(12:30 AM) (war) The Story of Dr. Wassell (1944/136 m/Cecil B. DeMille)
(3:00 AM) (war) Cry ‘Havoc’ (1944/97 m/Richard Thorpe)
(4:45 AM) (war) Battle Circus (1953/90 m/Richard Brooks)
(6:30 AM) (short) Angel Of Mercy (1939/10 m/Edward L. Cahn)
(6:45 AM) (drama) The White Angel (1936/92 m/William Dieterle)
(9:30 AM) (comedy) Bud Abbott and Lou Costello In Hollywood (1945/83 m/S. Sylvan Simon)
(10:00 AM) (comedy) Merton of the Movies (1947/82 m/Robert Alton)
(11:30 AM) (musical) Show Girl in Hollywood (1930/78 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(1:00 PM) (comedy) Goldie Gets Along (1933/68 m/Malcolm St. Clair)
(2:15 PM) (musical) Talent Scout (1937/62 m/William Clemens)
(3:30 PM) (comedy) Pick A Star (1937/70 m/Edward Sedgwick)
(4:45 PM) (comedy) Boy Meets Girl (1938/86 m/Lloyd Bacon)
(6:15 PM) (comedy) Movie Crazy (1932/96 m/Clyde Bruckman)
(8:00 PM) (adventure) She (1965/106 m/Robert Day)
(10:00 PM) (adventure) Clash of the Titans (1981/118 m/Desmond Davis)
Saturday, September 12, 2020
(12:15 AM) (comedy) Casino Royale (1967/131 m/John Huston, et. al.)
(2:45 AM) (horror) Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959/78 m/Edward D. Wood, Jr.)
(4:15 AM) (drama) Reefer Madness (1936/66 m/Louis Gasnier)
(5:15 AM) (premiere) Sex Madness (1938/52 m/?
(6:15 AM) (comedy) A Slight Case Of Murder (1938/85 m/Lloyd Bacon)
(9:00 AM) (premiere) MGM CARTOONS: Droopy’s Double Trouble (1951/7 m/Fred [Tex] Avery)
(9:09 AM) (short) High Dive Kids (1956/8 m/?)
(9:18 AM) (short) Sitka and Juneau: A Tale of Two Cities (1940/9 m/?)
(9:28 AM) (drama) Daredevil Drivers (1938/60 m/B. Reeves Eason)
(9:30 AM) (serial) TERRY AND THE PIRATES: Pyre of Death (1940/17 m/?)
(10:00 AM) (premiere) POPEYE: Pip-Eye, Pup-Eye, Poop-Eye An' Peep-Eye (1942/6 m/Dave Fleischer)
(10:08 AM) (adventure) The Lion Hunters (1951/80 m/Ford Beebe)
(11:30 AM) (short) The Rear Gunner (1943/20 m/Ray Enright)
(12:00 PM) (crime) Double Indemnity (1944/108 m/Billy Wilder)
(2:00 PM) (drama) Birdman of Alcatraz (1962/149 m/John Frankenheimer)
(4:45 PM) (war) The Sand Pebbles (1966/179 m/Robert Wise)
(8:00 PM) (suspense) Out of the Past (1947/97 m/Jacques Tourneur)
(10:00 PM) (drama) Experiment Perilous (1944/91 m/Jacques Tourneur)
Sunday, September 13, 2020
(12:00 AM) (suspense) Danger Signal (1945/78 m/Robert Florey)
(1:30 AM) (drama) The China Syndrome (1979/122 m/James Bridges)
(3:45 AM) (horror) Coma (1978/113 m/Michael Crichton)
(6:00 AM) (comedy) See Here, Private Hargrove (1944/101 m/Wesley Ruggles)
(9:00 AM) (musical) Summer Stock (1950/109 m/Charles Walters)
(10:00 AM) (suspense) Danger Signal (1945/78 m/Robert Florey)
(11:30 AM) (comedy) The Whole Town’s Talking (1935/93 m/John Ford)
(1:15 PM) (drama) The Last Hurrah (1958/121 m/John Ford)
(3:30 PM) (drama) Sweet Bird Of Youth (1962/120 m/Richard Brooks)
(5:45 PM) (adventure) The Black Stallion (1979/117 m/Carroll Ballard)
(8:00 PM) (musical) Carmen Jones (1954/105 m/Otto Preminger)
(10:00 PM) (drama) Bright Road (1953/68 m/Gerald Mayer)
(11:30 PM) (musical) Sun Valley Serenade (1941/86 m/H. Bruce Humberstone)
Monday, September 14, 2020
(1:15 AM) (silent) The Ace of Hearts (1921/74 m/Wallace Worsley)
(6:00 AM) (musical) Playing Around (1930/66 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(7:15 AM) (drama) Union Depot (1932/67 m/Alfred E. Green)
(9:30 AM) (drama) When In Rome (1952/78 m/Clarence Brown)
(10:00 AM) (drama) The Toast Of New York (1937/109 m/Rowland V. Lee)
(12:00 PM) (musical) Fashions of 1934 (1934/78 m/William Dieterle)
(1:30 PM) (suspense) Kind Lady (1935/76 m/George B. Seitz)
(3:00 PM) (romance) Sylvia Scarlett (1935/95 m/George Cukor)
(4:45 PM) (romance) Nobody Lives Forever (1946/100 m/Jean Negulesco)
(6:30 PM) (suspense) Cast a Dark Shadow (1955/83 m/Lewis Gilbert)
(8:00 PM) (short) Star Night At the Cocoanut Grove (1934/20 m/Louis Lewyn)
(8:00 PM) (short) A Night At The Movies (1937/10 m/Roy Rowland)
(8:00 PM) (comedy) The Pip From Pittsburg (1931/21 m/James Parrott)
(8:00 PM) (short) Movie Pests (1944/10 m/Will Jason)
(8:00 PM) (short) So You Want To Be A Detective (1948/11 m/Richard Bare)
(8:00 PM) (short) Los Angeles “Wonder City of the West” (1935/8 m/?)
(8:00 PM) (short) The Man In The Barn (1937/11 m/Jacques Tourneur)
(8:00 PM) (short) Smash Your Baggage (1932/9 m/Roy Mack)
(10:00 PM) (short) Asleep In The Feet (1933/19 m/Gus Meins)
(10:00 PM) (comedy) Top Flat (1935/19 m/William Terhune)
(10:00 PM) (short) The Bargain of the Century (1933/19 m/Charley Chase)
(11:15 PM) (short) You’re Telling Me (1932/19 m/Lloyd French)
(11:15 PM) (short) Call A Cop! (1931/20 m/George Stevens)
(11:15 PM) (short) Too Many Women (1932/19 m/Lloyd French)
(11:15 PM) (short) Air-Tight (1931/17 m/George Stevens)
Tuesday, September 15, 2020
(12:45 AM) (comedy) Buzzin’ Around (1933/20 m/Alfred J. Goulding)
(12:45 AM) (short) Whispering Whoopee (1930/21 m/James W. Horne)
(2:00 AM) (short) Women In Hiding (1940/22 m/Joseph Newman)
(2:00 AM) (short) Drunk Driving (1939/21 m/David Miller)
(2:00 AM) (short) The Public Pays (1936/18 m/Errol Taggart)
(3:15 AM) (short) His Silent Racket (1933/18 m/Charley Chase
(3:15 AM) (short) Girl Shock (1930/20 m/James W. Horne)
(3:15 AM) (short) Fallen Arches (1933/19 m/Gus Meins)
(3:15 AM) (short) The Chases of Pimple Street (1934/20 m/Charles Parrott)
(3:15 AM) (short) Four Parts (1934/18 m/Eddie Dunn)
(5:00 AM) (short) So You Want To Play The Piano (1956/10 m/Richard Bare)
(5:00 AM) (short) Apples To You! (1934/20 m/Leigh Jason)
(5:00 AM) (short) Zion: Canyon of Colour (1934/8 m/?)
(5:00 AM) (short) How To Sleep (1935/11 m/Nick Grindé)
(5:00 AM) (short) Double Talk (1937/11 m/Lloyd French)
(5:00 AM) (western) Pony Express Days (1940/20 m/B. Reeves Eason)
(5:00 AM) (comedy) Important Business (1944/11 m/Will Jason)
(5:00 AM) (short) The Black Network (1936/21 m/Roy Mack)
(5:00 AM) (short) And She Learned About Dames (1934/?/?)
(5:00 AM) (short) The Fabulous Fraud (1948/11 m/Edward L. Cahn)
(7:15 AM) (suspense) Man Hunt (1933/64 m/Irving Cummings)
(8:30 AM) (suspense) Nick Carter, Master Detective (1939/59 m/Jac ques Tourneur)
(9:45 AM) (suspense) Phantom Raiders (1940/70 m/Jacques Tourneur)
(11:00 AM) (suspense) Sky Murder (1940/72 m/George B. Seitz)
(12:15 PM) (suspense) Star Of Midnight (1935/90 m/Stephen Roberts)
(2:00 PM) (suspense) Miracles For Sale (1939/71 m/Tod Browning)
(3:15 PM) (suspense) Eyes In The Night (1942/80 m/Fred Zinnemann)
(4:45 PM) (suspense) The Hidden Eye (1945/69 m/Richard Whorf)
(6:00 PM) (suspense) Stage Fright (1950/110 m/Alfred Hitchcock)
(9:00 PM) (premiere) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 3) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
(9:15 PM) (documentary) Harlan County, U.S.A. (1976/105 m/Barbara Kopple)
(11:15 PM) (documentary) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 3) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
Wednesday, September 16, 2020
(12:30 AM) (drama) The Virgin Suicides (1999/97 m/Sofia Coppola)
(2:30 AM) (premiere) Loving Couples (1964/113 m/Mai Zetterling)
(6:30 AM) (premiere) 10 to 11 (2009/110 m/Pelin Esmer)
(9:30 AM) (comedy) Losing Ground (1982/86 m/Kathleen Collins)
(10:00 AM) (premiere) Strangers In Good Company (1990/101 m/Cynthia Scott)
(12:00 PM) (short) Wagon Wheels West (1943/17 m/B. Reeves Eason)
(12:30 PM) (western) Westward The Women (1951/116 m/William A. Wellman)
(2:45 PM) (western) Strange Lady In Town (1955/112 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(4:45 PM) (western) Rachel and the Stranger (1948/93 m/Norman Foster)
(6:15 PM) (western) Cat Ballou (1965/96 m/Elliot Silverstein)
(8:00 PM) (musical) A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1949/107 m/Tay Garnett)
(10:00 PM) (premiere) Peggy Sue Got Married (1986/103 m/Francis Ford Coppola)
Thursday, September 17, 2020
(12:00 AM) (premiere) Repeat Performance (1947/93 m/Alfred Werker)
(1:45 AM) (drama) Turn Back the Clock (1933/79 m/Edgar Selwyn)
(3:15 AM) (adventure) The Boy and the Pirates (1960/84 m/Bert I. Gordon)
(5:00 AM) (romance) Berkeley Square (1933/88 m/Frank Lloyd)
(6:45 AM) (short) MGM Is On The Move! (1964/36 m/?)
(7:45 AM) (crime) Angel Face (1953/91 m/Otto Preminger)
(9:30 AM) (western) River of No Return (1954/91 m/Otto Preminger)
(11:15 AM) (suspense) Bunny Lake Is Missing (1965/107 m/Otto Preminger)
(1:15 PM) (drama) The Man with the Golden Arm (1956/119 m/Otto Preminger)
(3:30 PM) (drama) Anatomy Of A Murder (1959/161 m/Otto Preminger)
(6:15 PM) (suspense) Laura (1944/88 m/Otto Preminger)
(8:00 PM) (comedy) People Will Talk (1951/110 m/Joseph L. Mankiewicz)
(10:00 PM) (drama) Magnificent Obsession (1954/108 m/Douglas Sirk)
Friday, September 18, 2020
(12:00 AM) (drama) A Man to Remember (1938/78 m/Garson Kanin)
(1:30 AM) (drama) The Citadel (1938/113 m/King Vidor)
(3:30 AM) (drama) Red Beard (1965/185 m/Akira Kurosawa)
(6:45 AM) (drama) The Doctor and the Girl (1949/98 m/Curtis Bernhardt)
(9:30 AM) (romance) Dark Victory (1939/104 m/Edmund Goulding)
(10:30 AM) (romance) The Painted Veil (1934/84 m/Richard Boleslawski)
(12:00 PM) (romance) Conquest (1937/112 m/Clarence Brown)
(2:00 PM) (romance) Camille (1937/109 m/George Cukor)
(4:00 PM) (comedy) Ninotchka (1939/110 m/Ernst Lubitsch)
(6:00 PM) Grand Hotel (1932/113 m/Edmund Goulding)
(8:00 PM) (drama) The Rain People (1969/101 m/Francis Ford Coppola)
(10:00 PM) (drama) Harry and Tonto (1974/115 m/Paul Mazursky)
Saturday, September 19, 2020
(12:00 AM) (comedy) Lost In America (1985/91 m/Albert Brooks)
(2:00 AM) (premiere) Wild At Heart (1990/124 m/David Lynch)
(4:15 AM) (premiere) Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992/135 m/David Lynch)
(6:30 AM) (suspense) Blackmail (1939/81 m/H.C. Potter)
(9:00 AM) (premiere) MGM CARTOONS: The Flea Circus (1954/7 m/Fred [Tex] Avery)
(9:09 AM) (short) Holland Sailing (1956/8 m/?)
(9:18 AM) (short) Alluring Alaska (1941/9 m/?)
(9:27 AM) (western) Guns Of Hate (1948/62 m/Lesley Selander)
(9:30 AM) (serial) TERRY AND THE PIRATES: The Secret of the Temple (1940/17 m/?)
(10:00 AM) (premiere) POPEYE: Olive Oyl and Water Don't Mix (1933/7 m/Dave Fleischer)
(10:08 AM) (adventure) African Treasure (1952/70 m/Ford Beebe)
(11:30 AM) (short) Roaring Guns (1944/19 m/Jean Negulesco)
(12:00 PM) (drama) Going Home (1971/97 m/Herbert B. Leonard)
(1:45 PM) (western) 3:10 To Yuma (1957/92 m/Delmer Daves)
(3:30 PM) (drama) Fail-Safe (1964/112 m/Sidney Lumet)
(5:30 PM) (war) Sergeant York (1941/134 m/Howard Hawks)
(8:00 PM) (musical) Guys and Dolls (1955/149 m/Joseph L. Mankiewicz)
(10:45 PM) (crime) Midnight Alibi (1934/58 m/Alan Crosland)
Sunday, September 20, 2020
(12:00 AM) (suspense) Gilda (1946/110 m/Charles Vidor)
(2:15 AM) (sci-fi) Rollerball (1975/125 m/Norman Jewison)
(4:30 AM) (sci-fi) Countdown (1968/101 m/Robert Altman)
(6:15 AM) (drama) All The King’s Men (1949/110 m/Robert Rossen)
(9:15 AM) (comedy) It Happened One Night (1934/105 m/Frank Capra)
(10:00 AM) (suspense) Gilda (1946/110 m/Charles Vidor)
(12:15 PM) (musical) Going My Way (1944/127 m/Leo McCarey)
(2:30 PM) (musical) Royal Wedding (1951/93 m/Stanley Donen)
(4:15 PM) (musical) Dangerous When Wet (1953/95 m/Charles Walters)
(6:00 PM) (comedy) Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner? (1967/108 m/Stanley Kramer)
(8:00 PM) (premiere) Tamango (1959/100 m/John Berry)
(10:00 PM) (adventure) Tarzan’s Peril (1951/79 m/Byron Haskin)
(11:30 PM) (drama) The Harlem Globetrotters (1951/77 m/Phil Brown)
Monday, September 21, 2020
(1:00 AM) (premiere) Where Now Are The Dreams Of Youth? (1932/86 m/Yasujiro Ozu)
(2:45 AM) (premiere) LONE WOLF AND CUB: Baby Cart in the Land of Demons (1973/90 m/Kenji Misumi)
(4:30 AM) (premiere) LONE WOLF AND CUB: White Heaven In Hell (1974/84 m/Yoshiyuki Kuroda)
(6:00 AM) (silent) Flesh and the Devil (1926/112 m/Clarence Brown)
(9:15 AM) (romance) To Have and Have Not (1944/100 m/Howard Hawks)
(10:15 AM) (crime) The Postman Always Rings Twice (1946/113 m/Tay Garnett)
(12:30 PM) (romance) Possessed (1931/76 m/Clarence Brown)
(2:00 PM) (comedy) Woman of the Year (1942/114 m/George Stevens)
(4:15 PM) (romance) Swing Shift (1984/100 m/Jonathan Demme)
(6:00 PM) (drama) Stromboli (1950/106 m/Roberto Rossellini)
(8:00 PM) (drama) A Cry In The Dark (1988/121 m/Fred Schepisi)
(10:15 PM) (romance) The French Lieutenant’s Woman (1981/124 m/Karel Reisz)
Tuesday, September 22, 2020
(2:30 AM) (drama) Kramer vs. Kramer (1979/105 m/Robert Benton)
(4:30 AM) (drama) Wednesday’s Child (1934/68 m/John Robertson)
(6:00 AM) (documentary) MGM Parade Show #4 (1955/26 m/?)
(6:30 AM) (epic) Around The World In 80 Days (1956/182 m/Michael Anderson)
(9:45 AM) (musical) Bitter Sweet (1940/93 m/W.S. Van Dyke II)
(11:30 AM) (war) In Which We Serve (1942/115 m/Noel Coward)
(1:30 PM) (comedy) Private Lives (1931/84 m/Sidney Franklin)
(3:00 PM) (romance) We Were Dancing (1942/95 m/Robert Z. Leonard)
(4:45 PM) (comedy) Blithe Spirit (1945/96 m/David Lean)
(6:30 PM) (romance) Brief Encounter (1945/87 m/David Lean)
(9:00 PM) (premiere) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 4) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
(9:15 PM) (premiere) The Cave of the Yellow Dog (2005/89 m/Byambasuren Davaa)
(11:00 PM) (documentary) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 4) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
Wednesday, September 23, 2020
(12:15 AM) (crime) Salaam Bombay! (1988/114 m/Mira Nair)
(2:30 AM) (drama) Daughters of the Dust (1991/112 m/Julie Dash)
(4:30 AM) (premiere) Krane’s Confectionary (1951/103 m/Astrid Henning-Jensen)
(6:30 AM) (premiere) Mikey and Nicky (1976/107 m/Elaine May)
(9:45 AM) (premiere) The Juniper Tree (1990/79 m/Nietzchka Keene)
(10:15 AM) (premiere) Women Who Loved Cinema (Part 1 & 2) (2002/114 m/Marianne Khoury)
(12:15 PM) (comedy) Life Begins For Andy Hardy (1941/101 m/George B. Seitz)
2:00 PM) (musical) Girl Crazy (1943/Norman Taurog)
(4:00 PM) (adventure) The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (1939/91 m/Richard Thorpe)
(6:00 PM) (comedy) Ah, Wilderness! (1935/98 m/Clarence Brown)\
(8:00 PM) (drama) Boys Town (1938/93 m/Norman Taurog)
(9:45 PM) (drama) The Human Comedy (1943/117 m/Clarence Brown)
Thursday, September 24, 2020
(12:00 AM) (adventure) The Black Stallion (1979/117 m/Carroll Ballard)
(2:15 AM) (musical) Strike Up The Band (1940/120 m/Busby Berkeley)
(4:30 AM) (crime) Killer McCoy (1947/104 m/Roy Rowland)
(6:15 AM) (romance) Wuthering Heights (1939/104 m/William Wyler)
(9:15 AM) (romance) Kitty Foyle (1940/108 m/Sam Wood)
(10:15 AM) (drama) Cass Timberlane (1947/119 m/George Sidney)
(12:15 PM) (drama) The Bad and the Beautiful (1952/118 m/Vincente Minnelli)
(2:30 PM) (drama) Magnificent Obsession (1954/108 m/Douglas Sirk)
(4:30 PM) (drama) All That Heaven Allows (1955/89 m/Douglas Sirk)
(6:15 PM) Written On The Wind (1957/99 m/Douglas Sirk)
(8:00 PM) (drama) Young Dr. Kildare (1938/82 m/Harold S. Bucquet)
(9:30 PM) (drama) The Young Doctors (1961/103 m/Phil Karlson)
(11:30 PM) (comedy) The Hospital (1971/102 m/Arthur Hiller)
Friday, September 25, 2020
(1:30 AM) (drama) No Way Out (1950/107 m/Joseph L. Mankiewicz)
(3:30 AM) (drama) The Girl In White (1952/93 m/John Sturges)
(5:04 AM) (short) Her Honor, The Nurse (1956/8 m/Harry W. Smith)
(5:30 AM) (drama) Emergency Hospital (1956/63 m/Lee Sholem)
(6:45 AM) (horror) War of the Planets (1965/97 m/Antonio Margheriti)
(9:30 AM) (horror) The Cosmic Monster (1958/72 m/Gilbert Gunn)
(10:00 AM) (horror) Satellite In The Sky (1956/84 m/Paul Dickson)
(11:30 AM) (horror) The Green Slime (1969/90 m/Kinji Fukasaku)
(1:15 PM) (horror) Queen of Outer Space (1958/80 m/Edward Bernds)
(2:45 PM) (horror) The Wild, Wild Planet (1965/94 m/Anthony Dawson)
(4:30 PM) (horror) Village of the Damned (1960/77 m/Wolf Rilla)
(6:00 PM) (horror) Children of the Damned (1964/90 m/Anton M. Leader)
(9:00 PM) (western) The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976/136 m/Clint Eastwood)
(10:30 PM) (western) Alvarez Kelly (1966/110 m/Edward Dmytryk)
Saturday, September 26, 2020
(12:45 AM) (western) Springfield Rifle (1952/93 m/Andre de Toth)
(6:00 AM) (comedy) Larceny, Inc. (1942/95 m/Lloyd Bacon)
(9:00 AM) (premiere) MGM CARTOONS: The First Bad Man (1955/7 m/Fred [Tex] Avery)
(9:09 AM) (short) Salar, The Leaper (1957/8 m/Douglas Sinclair)
(9:18 AM) (documentary) Land of Alaska Nellie (1940/9 m/?)
(9:28 AM) (western) Gun Law (1938/60 m/David Howard)
(9:30 AM) (serial) WILD WEST DAYS: Death Rides The Range (1937/?/?)
(10:00 AM) (premiere) POPEYE: Many Tanks (1933/7 m/Dave Fleischer)
(10:09 AM) (adventure) Bomba and the Jungle Girls (1952/70 m/Ford Beebe)
(11:30 AM) (short) Heavenly Music (1943/22 m/Josef Berne)
(12:00 PM) (drama) The Long Voyage Home (1940/106 m/John Ford)
(2:00 PM) (epic) Quo Vadis (1951/174 m/Mervyn LeRoy)
(5:15 PM) (war) Where Eagles Dare (1968/155 m/Brian G. Hutton)
(8:00 PM) (romance) The Red Shoes (1948/134 m/Michael Powell)
(10:30 PM) (war) Night Ambush (1958/105 m/Michael Powell)
Sunday, September 27, 2020
(12:15 AM) (drama) They Won’t Believe Me (1947/90 m/Irving Pichel)
(2:00 AM) (horror) Creature from the Black Lagoon (1954/79 m/Jack Arnold)
(3:30 AM) (horror) UFO (1956/88 m/Winston Jones)
(5:15 AM) (documentary) MGM Parade Show #4 (1955/26 m/?)
(6:00 AM) (romance) Mata Hari (1931/89 m/George Fitzmaurice)
(7:45 AM) (comedy) The Talk Of The Town (1942/117 m/George Stevens)
(10:00 AM) (drama) They Won't Believe Me (1947/90 m/Irving Pichel)
(11:45 AM) (comedy) Don't Make Waves (1967/97 m/Alexander Mackendrick)
(1:30 PM) (drama) Honeysuckle Rose (1980/119 m/Jerry Schatzberg)
(3:45 PM) (romance) Now, Voyager (1942/117 m/Irving Rapper)
(6:00 PM) (drama) Executive Suite (1954/104 m/Robert Wise)
(10:15 PM) (drama) The Decks Ran Red (1958/84 m/Andrew L. Stone)
(12:00 AM) (comedy) Our Modern Maidens (1929/75 m/Jack Conway)
(2:00 AM) (musical) Black Orpheus (1959/108 m/Marcel Camus)
(4:00 AM) (romance) Orpheus (1950/96 m/Jean Cocteau)
Monday, September 28, 2020
(6:00 AM) (comedy) Not So Dumb (1930/76 m/King Vidor)
(7:30 AM) (drama) Street Scene (1931/79 m/King Vidor)
(9:00 AM) (adventure) Bird of Paradise (1932/82 m/King Vidor)
(10:30 AM) (drama) Our Daily Bread (1934/74 m/King Vidor)
(11:45 AM) (western) Northwest Passage (1940/127 m/King Vidor)
(2:00 PM) (drama) H.M. Pulham, Esq. (1941/120 m/King Vidor)
(4:15 PM) (drama) The Fountainhead (1949/113 m/King Vidor)
(6:15 PM) (crime) Lightning Strikes Twice (1951/90 m/King Vidor)
(9:00 PM) (comedy) You Can't Take It With You (1938/126 m/Frank Capra)
(10:30 PM) (drama) Ship of Fools (1965/149 m/Stanley Kramer)
(1:15 AM) (premiere) Titicut Follies (1967/84 m/Frederick Wiseman)
(3:00 AM) (drama) The Sign of the Ram (1948/84 m/John Sturges)
(5:00 AM) (documentary) Private Screenings: Liza Minnelli (2010/45 m/Sean Cameron)
Tuesday, September 29, 2020
(6:00 AM) (drama) Blossoms in the Dust (1941/99 m/Mervyn LeRoy)
(9:00 AM) (romance) Mrs. Parkington (1944/124 m/Tay Garnett)
(10:30 AM) (drama) Madame Curie (1943/124 m/Mervyn Le Roy)
(1:00 PM) (romance) The Valley of Decision (1945/118 m/Tay Garnett)
(3:15 PM) (romance) Pride and Prejudice (1940/118 m/Robert Z. Leonard)
(5:30 PM) (war) Mrs. Miniver (1942/134 m/William Wyler)
(8:00 PM) (premiere) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 5) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
(9:15 PM) (drama) Middle of Nowhere (2012/101 m/Ava Duvernay)
(11:15 PM) (documentary) Women Make Film: A New Road Movie Through Cinema (episode 5) (2019/61 m/Mark Cousins)
Wednesday, September 30, 2020
(12:30 AM) (drama) Beau Travail (1999/89 m/Claire Denis)
(6:00 AM) (premiere) Wasp (2003/26 m/Andrea Arnold)
(10:00 AM) (drama) Antonia's Line (1995/103 m/Marleen Gorris)
(12:00 PM) (premiere) The Green-Eyed Blonde (1957/72 m/Bernard Girard)
(1:15 PM) (crime) Ring of Fire (1961/91/Andrew L. Stone)
(2:45 PM) (drama) Untamed Youth (1957/80 m/Howard W. Koch)
(4:15 PM) (musical) Jailhouse Rock (1957/97 m/Richard Thorpe)
(6:00 PM) (drama) Rebel Without A Cause (1955/111 m/Nicholas Ray)
(8:00 PM) (drama) Stand and Deliver (1988/103 m/Ramon Menendez)
(10:00 PM) (drama) The Blackboard Jungle (1955/101 m/Richard Brooks)
submitted by tombstoneshadows28 to movies [link] [comments]

My friend asked me what the best JonTron video was

My buddy he comes up to me and he says “Hey what’s your favorite JonTron film?”
And ya knows what I does?
I waltzes right up to him and I looks him square in da eyes and I says to him
Jon: And they said Kratos was the best hero...shish...they got it wrong sister. Hercules is clearly better. He even has a coconut weapon...
Jacques: Jon, I am finally back from Vietnam. LOL.
[JACQUES IS BACK FROM WAR GUYS!]
Jon: Jacques! Come here! I want to show you, I'm playing a game based on my favorite Greek legend, Heracles.
[DISNEY'S TARZAN (For the N64)]
Jacques: I'm glad to see nothing has changed around here.
Jon (singing): Two worlds...one family!
Jacques: Fuck this shit.
Jon (singing, heavily slurred): Son of man, look to the sky!
(Jacques explodes)
Jon: Wait a second, Jacques. I've got it! Hercules went through his 12 trials to become immortal right? Well, I mean, I don't want to stop playing games or doing the things I love to do with you or even making this show!
Jacques: Hasn't stopped you before.
Jon: I want to become immortal, too, Jacques. Just like Hercules! By playing the 12 games of Herc-- ...wait what did you fuckin' just say to me?
(The shot freezes)
KICK IT!
[LET'S START THE PARTY!]
(JonTron Intro)
(Title card)
(Ta-da sound)
Jon: Hercules!
Jon: Greek myths have always been a fascinating subject to me. Tales of treacherous journeys and epic voyages across the sea! Mythological beasts of old and the very fabric of nature itself. They tell of humans...creating larger than life heroes and gods...in their own flawed image. No one is safe from his or her own...hubris.
Jon: So to make an example of my point Imma play a Hercules game on the Commodore 64, it's called Hercules. What a name... I--I guess they didn't have to try back then, it was the 80s, all they had to worry about was Ronald Reagan talking about Gorbachev!
Jon (narrating): More like the Commodore Sixty-Bore! Heh heh, just kidding, it was actually pretty revolutionary.
[The game begins and Jon clicks his fingers to the intro music]
Jon: That's what I call music...
Jon (narrating): Now you know me and everybody's favorite part of Hercules myth was horse, sheep, lion, barn, ... uh... not sure what this is but it fits in, it fits in good.
(The game's story appears)
Jon: Alright, good thing, we got some back story here. Let's begin!
(Jon dies in the game before he even gets a chance to move around, and it goes back to the game's story screen)
(Shows Jon staring blankly with the joystick in his hands)
Jon: ... Oooooooooooh!
Jon (narrating): So yeah, apparently you die instantly if you don't start to move, I'm not fuckin' around, I'm talking like instantly! I mean, what kind of legendary reflexes do they expect people to have? I--I mean at this point they b--barely mastered Galaga! As soon as you die it skips you ahead randomly to the next level or something, so you don't even have a chance to learn what you did wrong in the first place. And before you know it, it's over. What the hell is this shit?
Jon (narrating): This was so jarring to me that I actually had to go online and check if that's the way the game is supposed to be, and it's not just broken. And yeah...that's the way the game is supposed to be. ...Who would do this? Who...would DO THIS?!
Jon (narrating): It's absolutely random, it's like the 1980s version of I Wanna Be the Guy! You jump here, platform turns invisible! Fire! DEAD! You jump there, fire, DEAD!
(Shows multiple shots of Jon dying in the game ending with a scene showing a car exploding from the 1995 film Casino)
Jon (narrating): DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! DEAD!
Jon (narrating): Hey, at least I can get the big sleep, so I don't have to play this game. And I'm not talking about the Salvador Dali painting.
Jon (narrating) Oh yeah, Herc. Climb those ropes. Climb those ropes, baby, so close.
Jon (narrating): Almost at the exit--so close, come on!
(Jon dies)
Jon (narrating): Oh, come on!! I'm done with this.
Jon: Believe it or not, there's actually another Hercules related game on the Commodore 64, It's called Hercules: Slayer of the Damned. I guess they just...(snaps his fingers)...couldn't get enough of that...generic 80s mythos back in the day! What, with the hot pink?!
(Shows Jon holding a cassette tape)
Jon: Whoever heard of a game being on a cassette tape? (flicks the tape) Let's "boot it up", ladies and gentlemen!
(Jon puts the tape in and plays it, and a loud static noise is heard)
[(ACTUAL NOISE IT MADE)]
(Cuts to the gameplay)
Jon (narrating): ...Well, hi there! What are you up to today?
(A skeleton NPC shuffles in)
Jon: Pffffff...what?
Jon (narrating): Well, I gotta say, there is not much to this one... You just--you just sorta beat the shit outta this guy and there's all these things going on in the corners of the screen that I just--I just have no idea what the hell... There's actually other versions of this game on consoles like the ZX Spectrum and the MSX.
(Jon defeats the skeleton NPC)
Jon (narrating): Yeah!
(Another skeleton NPC exactly like the first one shuffles in)
Jon (narrating): Ho ho ho, is that the way you're gonna pla-- No thank you! I'm not dancing this dance today! Or should I say, shuffling this shuffle. NEXT!
Jon: As for some of the early video game industry's more interesting takes on Hercules fable, we have (points to the cartridge)...DFC-HE...It's a--It's a lady...(points to the title in Japanese) I dunno what this is...
Jon (narrating): It's a Famicom RPG, and quite honestly, I could not tell you what the hell's going on in it.
[Called Glory of Heracles!]
This rather unknown series is still going on today on the Nintendo DS, under the same name. Who'd have thought?
Jon: So here's a little known classic for the PS1, Herc's Adventures, and it's all thanks to--
(the audio track cuts out and is replaced with Jon narrating)
'Jon (narrating)': the military industrial complex.
Truth be told, I don't even know where I'm getting all these games from.
Now if we're being strict on mythological canon here, this is actually Hercules. As you can see here, he is the Hercules of legend... they just call him Herc...it counts.
You can also pick from mythological characters Atlanta and Jason. ...IF YOU'RE STUPID! I don't know who'd wanna play these two! One's a...city in Georgia, THE OTHER ONE'S A REGULAR NAME! Nah, I wanna play as Hercules!
(The gameplay starts)
'Jon (narrating)': That sounds just a bit too much like Dan Castelleneta.
Herc: Don't worry. I'm Hercules!
Jon: So it's basically just a Diablo style beat-em-up. It's pretty cool, honestly. One of the better lesser-known games out there for the PS1. The art style's sweet, and the music sounds a near-lawsuit level similar to Star Wars...
(The game's music, suspiciously similar to Star Wars plays)
[EPISODE IV
HERC'S ADVENTURES
At one point in time the creators of Herc's Adventures decided that they did not give a shit. They were like, whatever, I like Star Wars, and so do most people, so why don't we just use the music from that and just change a few notes.
"That's genius, Arthur!" said Milton from the back of the room. The funny thing about this is that Milton has been dead for about 13 years. In fact, it is still a mystery how he knew Arthur's name given that Arthur was a recent tranfer from Montreal.]
(Shows Luke Skywalker on Tatooine gazing at the sunset as Jon narrates over him)
Jon (narrating): ...How'd dat happen?
(Cuts back to the gameplay, where Zeus appears out of a bolt of lightning)
Jon: Ah, not yet, I'm too young!!
Zeus: Ah, good work so far! But you still have a long way to go. Seek out the help of my fellow gods, Hera, Poseidon, Athena, and Dionysus. But be careful!
Jon: Oh yeah? Yeah. Yes. Yep. Gotcha. Fantastic. Unbelievable.
Zeus: Hades has many allies. In fact, there's a couple of hundred of them just up ahead.
Jon: Couple of what of them?
Zeus: Couple of hundred of them.
Jon: Couple of hundred of them?
Zeus: (distorted) COUPLE OF HUNDRED OF THEM just up ahead. So, good luck.
Jon: Thank you.
Zeus: I mean, good luck!
Jon: Thank you...?
Hades: Heheheheheh...I shall defeat you, and then you shall serve me in the land--
Jon: 'Scuse me, Hades, do you think you could speak up a bit?
Hades: You shall serve me in the land of the dead.
Jon (quietly): "You shall serve me in the land of the dead..." That's how he talks.
Jon: Everything here really shines--wait, whas that?
[EAT GYROS TO RESTORE HEALTH!]
(A version of JonTron's theme song plays as Jon gets up)
Jon: The day has come...the news that was sent to change my life...has fallen upon me.
(music abruptly stops)
Jon: Imma be right back.
(Jon sings over a synthpop based ballad)
Jon (singing): He's goin' to get a gyro...although it's technically pronounced yee-ro...Although I still wanna call it a gyro 'cause it sounds cooler!
(Cuts to half of the gyro eaten back at Jon's house)
Ughh!
My stomach!
Cameraman: Dude, are you gonna be all right?
Jon: You shut up--!
Disney's Hercules! Finally, a familiar face. And, hey, this movie has always been one of my favorites. So, let's see what this one has to offer. These games just keep showing up at my house while I'm sleeping, man!
(Title screen)
(Gameplay)
This game is actually freaking awesome! Awesome music, awesome and punchy sound effects, responsive controls, and DANNY DEVITO THAT TALKS TO YOU! KICK IT DANNY!
Danny: Knock 'em, woo woo woo! All right! Rule number 95, kid, concentrate! (Unintelligible) What are you doing? Get your sword!
[ENCOURAGEMENT EXCITEMENT WISDOM ???????????]
Jon (narrating): I'LL GET MY SWOOOOOORD FOR YOU DANNY!!!
(Shows Jon beating up a ragdoll with his sword)
Well, that's...well, that's...well, that's just not right at all I wouldn't think...
The game functions on a 2D plane that usually consists of sprites. It's all very interesting and exciting, and just dang fun to play. I'd have to say it can easily be considered a hidden gem on the PS1. I mean, come on! Just listen to Danny DeVito's conviction.
Danny: (Unintelligible)
Jon: It's a thing of beauty, okay? You hear that guy? You hear the truth in that dialogue? We're all living in the human condition, but he's speaking it.
I mean, after something like this it couldn't get any better, right? It's tops! We had fun! We're at ecstasy. Wrong! Game Boy version's a piece of shit! Have a look for yourself. I'm sure it'll be an enriching experience.
(The game loads up, and the story flashes on the screen)
[HERCULES! LOOK FOR BONUSES IN THE TREES!]
Jon: Now listen to me, if everyone was critical of everything all the time the world would be a dull place. So let's start with the positives: at least it gave me a milliseconds preview of the game before shovin' a hint in my fuckin' face! Hercules, look for bonuses in the trees. What does that mean, dude? Hm, if there was ever anything to give me the goose pimples, it's probably that. Now, that's just weird! That's like starting a game off being like, "Hercules, remember the scent of mother!" Like, what the fuck, dude?? I'm receptive, don't start me off like that, ease me into this shit! Ohkay? Don't just start off gunhoe, don't play your royal flush right away! I always save a royal flush when playing poker, the...the...the thing is don't play poker with me.
Oh my god, that music. That sounds nothing like Disney's Hercules! That doesn't even sound like it could go in the special features on the DVD. It's just one of those songs that drones on and on and on! Perfectly complementing the gameplay I might add. And these hints just keep popping up! Hercules, beware of fireballs. Hercules, beware of spite and jealousy! This game is pure action. I'm not--this game is so much action that if there was a war to protest, this game will be there in Time Square picketing before the feminists got there.
That looks more like Luke Skywalker than Disney's fuckin' Hercules. He does some weird run if you mess around with the buttons. I don't know what it does though.
This game is an ungodly amount of hard. One fuck-up and you're dead. And back to the beginning. Love it. I mean, come on! How do I get on this vine? I am inching...so slowly, and I CAN'T...I CAN'T GET IT! Oh, I see, you gotta do this bullshit to get it. Of course... Good luck landing that. This game is clearly meant to be an acrobatic platformer, as you can see. Well, while we're here we might as well rave about it!
(Footage of the gameplay plays with rave music in the background)
Jon: I gotta to say though, It's kinda cool when he swings his sword...feels like there's some real weight to it.
Now that would be all there is to say about the Disney Hercules games, but there's one last strange addition to this collection. Hercules 2 for the Sega Genesis? Okay, that's right. There's a pirated version of the PS1 edition for the Sega Genesis. Called...Hercules 2. That sure makes a lot of sense.
(Cuts to a kid playing Call of Duty)
Jon: Where was Hercules 1 exactly? Someone fill me in on this?
[Snapping sound plays]
Jon: Also, what's with the snapping? Did you mean to use this sound effect, guys?
[Ringing sound plays]
Jon: This game is really odd. It uses a lot of the same sound bites only incredibly bit crushed.
[GAMEPLAY!]
Jon: Yeah, no. I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna do this. Hercules does what Nintendercules.
Alright, last on our list! Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. You know, like the TV show. With Arnold Schwarzenegger. Or whoever the fuck that was. Fabio? Albert Pacino? Fonzie? The fact that there's a game of this verifies that someone out there hates me. Hercules TV edition! God, this menu music makes me feel like I'm about to embark on an educational adventure or something. I'm not knocking that. Cause I wanna do that. So I hope that's what's going to happen.
Jon imitating Carl Sagan: The brain is made up of billions and billions of neurons.
Jon: Stay a while, friend, and I will tell you an epic tale. Yes, mm, I'm buying it. Clearly, that is the gait of a man who has an epic tale to tell. Blah blah. Blah blah! Okay, probably something about Dracula or werewolves. Let's do this hoopderscotch! Good morning, Hercules. It is time to train! Follow me outside so that we may begin. I don't feel... I don't feel like I'm being treated appropriately here. Hm, there's something about this game that seems eerily familiar, isn't it? But I can't put my finger on it. Hmm. What is it? The blue action button? The chicken cooing? That forest like and cozy opening? That- holy shit! Teleportin' centaur! Shoulda called it the Legend of Hercules: Ocarina of time if you catch my cold! Achoo!
Seriously, this game's introduction is merely identical to Ocarina of Time. It's like they just want to get my pavlovian goin'. My pavlov. Hey, I'm sold. I need you to clear these rocks out of this field for me, Hercules. Riveting. I mean, honestly. You get the deadliest and strongest demigod on the planet and this is what you use him for. This is his best application? Well, I mean, yeah... Who else could pick up rocks that big? Your sister? Sister can't do it. You know as far as a licensed game with an I.P. this mundane, it's really not that bad. Kind of impressive in scale. Although, ultimately, it's nothing I'd write home about.
[Except for this part...]
Jon: But let's be honest. Bring down the mic! The best thing about this game is the over powered-ass pause sound!
[PAUSE FX]
Jon: Also there's actually a Game Boy version of this one. Let's have a look at it. That's the box art? I don't think that's Kevin Sorbo at all.
[Loud, ear splitting "music"]
Jon: Ah...Ow...
Jacques: Owowowow wowowow. Jacques explodes
Jon: So the first thing you'll notice about this magnificent work of art is the score. Or should I say the knives running up and down rusty garbage bins. That's probably closer. This hurts my ears so bad! It needs to stop!
[HLPME]
Jon: It's like a mix between a fever dream and the Insane Clown Posse. Oh, man, looks like Hercules has been eating one too many ambrosias. Heheheh you know what I'm sayin'? His walk cycle is amazing. I can't get enough of it. He looks like Eric Cartman trying to cut a jig.
[Jon dances around trying to impersonate Hercules' walking]
Jon: Unlike the N64 version, this version is more like an RPG. It makes this annoying sound every time you talk to someone.
[boop and bop noises that sound like a 1980's computer]
Jon: Like world is coming to an end or something. "I only speak to sailors." Well, if that's the case, you'll probably pretty much limiting yourself to port towns, honestly, and even then they're out to sea most of the time. Why aren't you on a boat? A boat would really be a better fit for you. Also, what the fu... who says that? The fisherman also only talks to sailors. Okay, well, at least that one makes some sense. The stroller also only talks to sailors. Okay, first of all, what kind of an occupation is stroller? What kind of town is this? How did anyone even learn speech if everyone talks to sailors and there ain't no sailors 'round town?! Well, I guess if being a sailor is what it takes to be validated around here I might as well take to the streets and give it my all.
[Hercules falls into the water and drowns instantly]
Jon: Ohohoh my god! He didn't stand a chance! Poor hunk of a bastard sunk like a brick. Huh. Well, this sweet old lady seems kind enough. Maybe, I'll finally get a hint about what to do around here. Don't stay here. I might hurt you. Lady, you gotta work on that anger. I'm sorry to have imposed on you, madam. Good thing we're not in Florida or this may have really turned ugly. Leave me alone. Can't you see that I am busy. Oh, don't you worry, Eury. It's plain for all to see. Also, I think it's prudent to point out that it's actually Mr. Eurydice who's the busy one. Busy, busy, busy. He can't even be bothered to clean up the dead cat, he's so preoccupied! The cat's dead, dude, you can't just leave something like this laying around. You gotta step up. You gotta be a man. Get rid of this. Put it in the trash. You can't be jerkin' responsibility.
Now I've played a lot of RPGs in my day, and I gotta say hand down this one has to have the most stand off-ish NPCs ever! I don't think even one of these people is happy to see you. They might as well not be there at all. Hey guys! I don't think you should be so rude to Hercules! He's the son of Zues! Also, he can kill you real easily. I think that's the main thing. All right, well, if I can't find any help outside maybe I'll find some help inside.
"Get out of our home."
[Jon laughs and facepalms]
Jon: Well, yeah. I mean, I suppose that's right. I think anything from that would be deviating from the norm.
[Jon throws his arms up into the air, gets a bottle of pills and swallows them all]
Jon (internal voice): I didn't really want to become immortal that much anyways. Too much hard work.
[He then drinks a bottle of vodka] [Dear Kids: Please don't kill yourselves then sue me.]
Jon (internal voice): We gotta watch people going in and out of the White House for the rest of the time. No thanks, Samuel.
[POOP]
Then he stares roight back at me and he says “swood”
submitted by MrDoofer to JonTron [link] [comments]

My library. Let me know by PM if you'd like one of the titles through Send This Book.

If you'd like one of the books below and you have a US account, PM me which one you'd like. If you've already received a book via Send This Book, it'll just appear as a recommendation for you. Audible allows each user only one free book this way.
edited again to add more books
submitted by AndHeWas to audible [link] [comments]

The script for Hercules Games in French

Jon: Et ils ont dit Kratos était le meilleur héros ... shish ... ils se sont trompés sœur. Hercules est nettement meilleure. Il a même une arme de noix de coco ...
Jacques: Jon, je suis enfin de retour du Vietnam. LOL.
[JACQUES EST DE RETOUR DE GUERRE GUYS!]
Jon: Jacques! Venez ici! Je veux vous montrer, je joue un jeu basé sur ma légende grecque préférée, Heracles.
[DISNEY TARZAN (Pour le N64)]
Jacques: Je suis heureux de voir que rien n'a changé ici.
Jon (chant): Deux mondes ... une famille!
Jacques: Fuck cette merde.
Jon (chant, fortement pâteuse): Fils de l' homme, regarde vers le ciel!
(Jacques explose)
Jon: Attendez une seconde, Jacques. J'ai compris! Hercules a traversé ses 12 essais pour devenir immortel droit? Eh bien, je veux dire, je ne veux pas arrêter de jouer ou de faire les choses que j'aime à faire avec vous ou même faire de ce spectacle!
Jacques: ne vous a pas arrêté avant.
Jon: Je veux devenir immortel, aussi, Jacques. Tout comme Hercules! En jouant les 12 jeux de Herc-- ... attendez qu'avez-vous Fuckin 'dites juste pour moi?
(Le tir gèle)
BOTTES-LE!
[COMMENÇONS LA FÊTE!]
(JonTron Intro)
(Titre carte)
(Ta-da son)
Jon: Hercules!
Jon: mythes grecs ont toujours été un sujet fascinant pour moi. Tales of voyages perfides et voyages épiques à travers la mer! Bêtes mythologiques de l' ancienne et le tissu même de la nature elle - même. Ils racontent des humains ... créant plus grand que les héros de la vie et des dieux ... dans leur propre image erronée. Personne est sûr de son propre ... hubris.
Jon: Donc , pour faire un exemple de mon point Imma jouer à un jeu Hercules sur le Commodore 64, il est appelé Hercules. Quel nom ... I - Je suppose qu'ils ne disposaient pas d'essayer à l' époque, ce sont les années 80, tout ce qu'ils avaient à se soucier était Ronald Reagan parle de Gorbatchev!
Jon (narrant): Plus le Bore Commodore Soixante-! Heh heh, je plaisante, il était en fait assez révolutionnaire.
[Le jeu commence et Jon clique sur ses doigts à la musique d'intro]
Jon: Voilà ce que j'appelle la musique ...
Jon (narrant): Maintenant , vous me connaissez et une partie préférée de tout le monde d'Hercule mythe était cheval, mouton, lion, grange, ... euh ... pas sûr de ce que cela est , mais il convient, il se glisse dans le bien.
(L'histoire du jeu apparaît)
Jon: Très bien, bonne chose, nous avons eu une histoire de retour ici. Commençons!
(Jon meurt dans le jeu avant qu'il obtient même une chance de se déplacer, et il remonte à l'écran du jeu de l'histoire)
(Affiche Jon regard fixe avec le joystick dans ses mains)
Jon: ... Oooooooooooh!
Jon (narrant): Alors oui, apparemment , vous mourrez instantanément si vous ne commencez pas à bouger, je ne suis pas fuckin 'autour, je parle comme instantanément! Je veux dire, quel genre de réflexes légendaires font - ils espérer que les gens ont? I - Je veux dire à ce stade , ils b - à peine maîtrisé Galaga! Dès que vous mourez , il vous saute avant au hasard au niveau suivant ou quelque chose, de sorte que vous ne même pas avoir une chance d'apprendre ce que vous avez eu tort en premier lieu. Et avant que vous le savez, il est fini. Ce que l'enfer est cette merde?
Jon (narrant): Ce fut tellement choquante pour moi que j'ai dû aller en ligne et vérifier si c'est la façon dont le jeu est censé être, et il est non seulement cassé. Et oui ... c'est la façon dont le jeu est censé être. ... Qui ferait cela? Qui ... ferait cela ?!
Jon (narrant): Il est tout à fait aléatoire, il est comme la version 1980 de I Wanna Be the Guy! Vous sautez ici, la plate - forme tourne invisible! Feu! MORT! Vous sautez là, le feu, DEAD!
(Affiche plusieurs plans de Jon meurent dans le jeu se termine par une scène montrant une voiture exploser du Casino de film 1995)
Jon (narrant): DEAD! MORT! MORT! MORT! MORT! MORT! MORT! DEAD! DEAD!
Jon (narrant): Hey, au moins je peux obtenir le grand sommeil, donc je ne pas avoir à jouer à ce jeu. Et je ne parle pas de la peinture de Salvador Dali.
Jon (narration) Oh yeah, Herc. Montez les cordes. Montez les cordes, bébé, si proche.
Jon (narrant): Presque à la sortie - si proche, allez!
(Jon meurt)
Jon (narrant): Oh, come on !! Je suis fait avec cela.
Jon: Croyez - le ou non, il est en fait un autre jeu lié Hercules sur le Commodore 64, Il est appelé Hercules: Slayer of the Damned. Je suppose qu'ils juste ... (claque des doigts) ... ne pouvaient pas obtenir assez de cela ... 80s génériques mythos retour dans la journée! Qu'est - ce que, avec le rose chaud ?!
(Affiche Jon tenant une cassette)
Jon: Celui qui a entendu d'un jeu étant sur ​​une cassette? (flicks la bande) Let de "démarrer it up", mesdames et messieurs!
(Jon met la bande et joue, et un bruit statique fort est entendu)
[(BRUIT ACTUAL IT MADE)]
(Coupures dans le gameplay)
Jon (narrant): ... Eh bien, salut là! Que vas tu faire aujourd'hui?
(Un PNJ squelette melange dans)
Jon: Pffffff ... quoi?
Jon (narrait): Eh bien, je dois dire, il n'y a pas grand chose à celui - ci ... Vous venez - vous venez de battre sorta la merde outta ce gars et il y a toutes ces choses qui se passent dans les coins de l'écran que je viens -I ont tout simplement aucune idée de ce que l'enfer ... Il y a effectivement d' autres versions de ce jeu sur consoles comme la ZX Spectrum et MSX.
(Jon défait le PNJ squelette)
Jon (narrant): Yeah!
(Un autre PNJ squelette exactement comme la première brouille dans)
Jon (narrant): Ho ho ho, est que la façon dont vous allez pla-- Non merci! Je ne suis pas danser cette danse aujourd'hui! Ou devrais - je dire, traînant ce shuffle. PROCHAIN!
Jon: Comme pour certains de l'industrie du jeu vidéo au début plus intéressant prend Hercules fable, nous avons (points à la cartouche) ... DFC-HE ... C'est une - Il est une dame ... (points au titre en japonais) Je ne sais pas ce que cela est ...
Jon (narrant): Il est un Famicom RPG, un deuxième très honnêtement, je ne pouvais pas vous dire ce que l'enfer qui se passe en elle.
[Appelé Glory of Heracles!]
Cette série plutôt inconnue est toujours en cours aujourd'hui sur le Nintendo DS, sous le même nom. Qui aurait pensé?
Jon: Alors , voici un classique peu connu pour la PS1, Aventures de Herc, et il est grâce to--
(La piste audio découpe et est remplacé par Jon narrant)
Jon (narrant) »: le complexe militaro - industriel.
À vrai dire, je ne sais même pas où je reçois tous ces jeux de.
Maintenant, si nous être strict sur mythologique canon ici, cela est effectivement Hercules. Comme vous pouvez le voir ici, il est le Hercules de la légende ... ils appellent juste lui Herc ... ça compte.
Vous pouvez également choisir parmi des personnages mythologiques Atlanta et Jason. ... SI VOUS ÊTES STUPIDE! Je ne sais pas qui avait envie de jouer ces deux! On a une ... ville en Géorgie, L'AUTRE EST UN NOM ORDINAIRE! Nah, je veux jouer comme Hercule!
(Le gameplay commence)
Jon (narrant) ': Cela sonne un peu trop comme Dan Castelleneta.
Herc: Ne vous inquiétez pas. Je suis Hercules!
Jon: Donc , il est fondamentalement juste un style Diablo beat-em-up. Il est assez cool, honnêtement. L'un des jeux mieux moins connus là-bas pour la PS1. Doux, et la musique du style art semble un niveau quasi-procès similaire à Star Wars ...
(La musique du jeu, étrangement similaire à Star Wars joue)
[EPISODE IV
HERC AVENTURES
À un moment donné dans le temps les créateurs de Adventures Herc ont décidé qu'ils ne donnent pas une merde. Ils étaient comme, peu importe, j'aime Star Wars, et ainsi de faire la plupart des gens, alors pourquoi utilisons-nous pas simplement la musique de cela et il suffit de changer quelques notes.
"C'est le génie, Arthur!" ledit Milton à l'arrière de la chambre. Le plus drôle est que Milton est mort depuis environ 13 ans. En fait, il est encore un mystère comment il connaissait le nom de Arthur étant donné que Arthur était un tranfert récent de Montréal.]
(Affiche Luke Skywalker sur Tatooine regardant le coucher du soleil comme Jon raconte sur lui)
Jon (narrant): ... Comment as - dat arrivé?
(Coupe de retour au gameplay, où Zeus apparaît sur un coup de foudre)
Jon: Ah, pas encore, je suis trop jeune !!
Zeus: Ah, bon travail jusqu'à présent! Mais vous avez encore un long chemin à parcourir. Cherchez l'aide de mes collègues dieux, Héra, Poséidon, Athéna et Dionysos. Mais fais attention!
Jon: Ah oui? Ouais. Oui. Oui. Je t'ai eu. Fantastique. Incroyable.
Zeus: Hades a beaucoup d' alliés. En fait, il y a quelques centaines d'entre eux juste devant.
Jon: Couple de ce que d'entre eux?
Zeus: quelques centaines d'entre eux.
Jon: quelques centaines d'entre eux?
Zeus: (déformée) COUPLE DE CENTS D'EUX juste devant. Alors bonne chance.
Jon: Je vous remercie.
Zeus: Je veux dire, bonne chance!
Jon: Je vous remercie ...?
Hadès: Heheheheheh ... Je vais vous battre, et puis vous me servira dans le land--
Jon: «Excusez - moi, Hadès, pensez - vous que vous pourriez parler un peu?
Hadès: Vous me servira dans le pays des morts.
Jon (calmement): «Tu me serve dans le pays des morts ...» Voilà comment il parle.
Jon: Tout ici vraiment brille - attendez, WHAS cela?
[EAT GYROS POUR RESTAURER LA SANTÉ!]
(Une version de la chanson thème JonTron joue comme Jon se lève)
Jon: Le jour est venu ... les nouvelles qui a été envoyé pour changer ma vie ... est tombé sur moi.
(Musique arrête brusquement)
Jon: Imma bientôt de retour.
(Jon chante sur une ballade à base de synthpop)
Jon (chant): Il est goin 'pour obtenir un gyro ... bien que ce soit techniquement prononcé yee-ro ... Bien que je veux encore appeler un gyro parce que ça sonne plus frais!
(Cuts à la moitié du gyro mangées retour à la maison de Jon)
Ughh!
Mon estomac!
Cameraman: Mec, tu vas être tout droit?
Jon: Vous arrêtez up--!
Hercules Disney! Enfin, un visage familier. Et, hé, ce film a toujours été un de mes favoris. Donc, nous allons voir ce que celui-ci a à offrir. Ces jeux ne cessent de se présenter à ma maison pendant que je dors, mec!
(Écran titre)
(Gameplay)
Ce jeu est en fait flipper génial! Musique impressionnante, des effets impressionnants et punchy sonores, des contrôles adaptés, et Danny DeVito qui vous parle! KICK IT DANNY!
Danny: Frappez 'em, woo woo woo! D'accord! numéro 95, kid règle, se concentrer! (Inintelligible) Que faites-vous? Obtenez votre épée!
[ENCOURAGEMENT EXCITEMENT SAGESSE ???????????]
Jon (narrant): Je vais obtenir mon SWOOOOOORD POUR VOUS DANNY !!!
(Affiche Jon battu un ragdoll avec son épée)
Eh bien, voilà ... eh bien, voilà ... eh bien, c'est pas juste du tout, je ne pense pas ...
Les fonctions de jeu sur un plan 2D qui se compose généralement de sprites. Il est tout l'amusement très intéressant et excitant, et juste dang à jouer. Je dois dire qu'il peut facilement être considéré comme un joyau caché sur la PS1. Allez quoi! Il suffit d'écouter la condamnation de Danny DeVito.
Danny: (inintelligible)
Jon: Il est une chose de beauté, d' accord? Vous entendez ce type? Vous entendez la vérité dans ce dialogue? Nous vivons tous dans la condition humaine, mais il parle il.
Je veux dire, après quelque chose comme cela, il ne pouvait pas être mieux, non? Ça s'arrête! Nous nous sommes amusés! Nous sommes à l' extase. Faux! Version Game Boy est un morceau de merde! Jetez un coup d'oeil pour vous-même. Je suis sûr que ce sera une expérience enrichissante.
(Les charges de jeu vers le haut, et l'histoire clignote sur l'écran)
[HERCULE! REGARDEZ LES BONUS DANS LES ARBRES!]
Jon: Maintenant , écoutez-moi, si tout le monde était critique de tout , tout le temps , le monde serait un endroit terne. Commençons donc par les points positifs: au moins il m'a donné un aperçu des millisecondes du jeu avant Shovin 'un soupçon dans mon fuckin' face à Hercules, chercher des bonus dans les arbres!. Qu'est-ce que cela veut dire, mec? Hm, si jamais il y avait quelque chose à me donner les boutons d'oie, il est probablement que. Maintenant, c'est juste bizarre! C'est comme commencer une partie hors d'être comme, "Hercules, rappelez-vous l'odeur de la mère!" Comme, ce qui la baise, mec ?? Je suis réceptif, ne me pas commencer comme ça, la facilité moi dans cette merde! Ohkay? Ne vous contentez pas commencer gunhoe, ne jouez pas votre quinte flush royale tout de suite! Je garde toujours une quinte royale en jouant au poker, la ... la ... la chose est de ne pas jouer au poker avec moi.
Oh mon dieu, que la musique. Cela semble rien comme Hercule de Disney! Cela ne même pas sonner comme il pourrait aller dans les fonctions spéciales sur le DVD. Il est juste une de ces chansons que les drones et encore et encore! complétant parfaitement le gameplay je pourrais ajouter. Et ces conseils ne cessent de sauter vers le haut! Hercules, méfiez-vous des boules de feu. Hercules, méfiez-vous de dépit et la jalousie! Ce jeu est l'action pure. Je ne suis pas - ce jeu est tellement d'action que s'il y avait une guerre pour protester, ce jeu sera là dans le piquetage Time Square avant que les féministes sont arrivés là.
Cela ressemble plus à Luke Skywalker que fuckin 'Hercules Disney. Il fait un peu de course bizarre si vous mess avec les boutons. Je ne sais pas ce qu'il fait bien.
Ce jeu est un montant impie de dur. Un fuck-up et vous êtes mort. Et de retour au début. Aimer. Allez quoi! Comment puis-je obtenir sur cette vigne? J'Inching ... si lentement, et je ne peux pas ... Je ne peux pas IT! Oh, je vois, tu dois faire cette connerie pour l' obtenir. Bien sûr ... Bonne chance que l'atterrissage. Ce jeu est clairement destiné à être un jeu de plateforme acrobatique, comme vous pouvez voir. Eh bien, alors que nous sommes ici nous pourrions aussi bien rave à ce sujet!
(Footage du gameplay joue avec de la musique rave en arrière-plan)
Jon: Je dois dire cependant, il est plutôt cool quand il balance son épée ... se sent comme il y a un peu de poids réel à elle.
Maintenant , ce serait tout ce qu'il ya à dire sur les jeux Disney Hercules, mais il y a une dernière plus étrange de cette collection. Hercules 2 pour la Sega Genesis? D'accord, vous avez raison. Il y a une version piratée de l'édition PS1 pour la Sega Genesis. Appelé ... Hercules 2. Cela fait que beaucoup de sens.
(Cuts à un enfant jouant Call of Duty)
Jon: Où était Hercules 1 exactement? Quelqu'un me remplir à ce sujet?
[Accrochage jeux sonores]
Jon: En outre, ce qui est avec le magnétisme? Vouliez-vous dire d'utiliser cet effet sonore, les gars?
[Sonner jeux sonores]
Jon: Ce jeu est vraiment bizarre. Il utilise un grand nombre des mêmes extraits sonores seulement incroyablement peu écrasées.
[GAMEPLAY!]
Jon: Ouais, non. Je ne vais pas ... Je ne vais pas faire cela. Hercules fait ce Nintendercules.
Très bien, durer sur notre liste! Hercules: The Legendary Journeys. Vous savez, comme l'émission de télévision. Avec Arnold Schwarzenegger. Ou celui qui la baise qui était. Fabio? Albert Pacino? Fonzie? Le fait qu'il y ait un jeu de ce vérifie que quelqu'un là-bas me hait. Hercules TV édition! Dieu, ce menu musique me fait sentir que je suis sur le point de se lancer dans une aventure éducative ou quelque chose. Je ne suis pas frapper que. Parce que je veux faire. J'espère donc que est ce qui va se passer.
Jon imitant Carl Sagan: Le cerveau est composé de milliards et des milliards de neurones.
Jon: Restez un moment, un ami, et je vais vous raconter une histoire épique. Oui, mm, je l'acheter. De toute évidence, c'est la démarche d'un homme qui a une histoire épique à raconter. blah blah. Bla bla! D'accord, probablement quelque chose à propos de Dracula ou les loups-garous. Faisons ce hoopderscotch! Bonjour, Hercules. Il est temps de former! Suivez-moi en dehors afin que nous puissions commencer. Je ne me sens pas ... Je ne pense pas que je suis traité de façon appropriée ici. Hm, il y a quelque chose à propos de ce jeu qui semble étrangement familier, non? Mais je ne peux pas mettre le doigt dessus. Hmm. Qu'Est-ce que c'est? Le bouton d'action bleu? Le poulet roucouler? Cette forêt comme et l'ouverture confortable? That- merde sainte! Teleportin 'centaure! Shoulda a appelé la légende d'Hercule: Ocarina du temps si vous attrapez mon rhume! Achoo!
Sérieusement, l'introduction de ce jeu est simplement identique à Ocarina of Time. Il est comme ils veulent juste obtenir mon goin pavlovien. Mon pavlov. Hey, je suis vendu. Il faut que vous effacer ces roches hors de ce champ pour moi, Hercules. Rivetage. Je veux dire, honnêtement. Vous obtenez le demi-dieu le plus meurtrier et le plus fort sur la planète et c'est ce que vous l'utilisez pour. Voici sa meilleure application? Eh bien, je veux dire, oui ... Qui d'autre pourrait ramasser des pierres que grand? Ta soeur? Sœur ne peut pas le faire. Vous savez aussi bien comme un jeu sous licence avec une adresse IP de cette banale, il est vraiment pas si mal. Type d'impressionnant à l'échelle. Bien que, en fin de compte, il n'y a rien que j'écrire sur la maison.
[Sauf pour cette partie ...]
Jon: Mais soyons honnêtes. Faire descendre le micro! La meilleure chose à propos de ce jeu est la pause du son sur-alimenté cul!
[PAUSE FX]
Jon: Aussi il y a en fait une version Game Boy de celui - ci. Jetons un coup d'oeil. C'est l'art de la boîte? Je ne pense pas que ce soit Kevin Sorbo du tout.
[Loud, l'oreille splitting "musique"]
Jon: Ah ... Ow ...
Jacques: Owowowow wowowow. * Jacques explose *
Jon: Donc la première chose que vous remarquerez sur cette magnifique œuvre d'art est le score. Ou devrais-je dire les couteaux monter et descendre les poubelles rouillées. C'est probablement plus proche. Cela me fait mal aux oreilles si mal! Il doit cesser!
[HLPME]
Jon: Il est comme un mélange entre un rêve de la fièvre et le Insane Clown Posse. Oh, l'homme, ressemble Hercules a mangé un trop grand nombre ambrosias. Heheheh vous savez ce que je veux dire? Son cycle de marche est incroyable. Je ne peux pas obtenir assez de lui. Il ressemble à Eric Cartman essayant de couper un gabarit.
[Jon danses autour d'essayer d'usurper l'identité de marche Hercules]
Jon: Contrairement à la version N64, cette version est plus comme un RPG. Il fait cela chaque fois que vous parlez à quelqu'un gênant son.
[boop et bop bruits qui sonnent comme l'ordinateur d'un 1980]
Jon: monde Comme touche à sa fin ou quelque chose. "Je ne parle que des marins." Eh bien, si tel est le cas, vous aurez probablement à peu près de vous limiter aux villes portuaires, honnêtement, et même alors, ils sont à la mer la plupart du temps. Pourquoi n'êtes-vous pas sur un bateau? Un bateau serait vraiment un meilleur ajustement pour vous. En outre, ce que le fu ... qui dit que? Le pêcheur ne parle aussi aux marins. Bon, eh bien, au moins que l'on fait un certain sens. La poussette aussi ne parle que de marins. Bon, tout d'abord, quel genre d'occupation est la poussette? Quel genre de ville est-ce? Comment quelqu'un at-il même apprendre la parole si tout le monde parle aux marins et il n'y a pas la ville ronde aucun des marins ?! Eh bien, je suppose que si être marin est ce qu'il faut pour être validé ici je pourrais aussi bien prendre les rues et lui donner mon tout.
[Hercules tombe dans l'eau et se noie instantanément]
Jon: Ohohoh mon dieu! Il n'a pas une chance! Pauvre gros morceau d'un bâtard coulé comme une brique. Huh. Eh bien, cette vieille dame douce semble assez aimable. Peut-être, je vais enfin obtenir un indice sur ce qu'il faut faire ici. Ne restez pas ici. Je pourrais vous faire du mal. Lady, tu dois travailler sur cette colère. Je suis désolé d'avoir imposé à vous, madame. Bonne chose que nous ne sommes pas en Floride ou ce peut-être vraiment tourné laid. Laisse-moi tranquille. Tu ne vois pas que je suis occupé. Oh, ne vous inquiétez pas, Eury. Il est clair pour tous. Aussi, je pense qu'il est prudent de souligner qu'il est en fait M. Eurydice qui est celui occupé. Occupé occupé occupé. Il ne peut même pas la peine de nettoyer le chat mort, il est tellement préoccupé! mort, mec du chat, vous ne pouvez pas simplement laisser quelque chose comme ça autour de la pose. Tu dois pas en place. Tu dois être un homme. Débarrassez-vous de cela. Mettez-le dans la poubelle. Vous ne pouvez pas être Pourpoint 'responsabilité.
Maintenant, je l'ai joué beaucoup de RPG dans ma journée, et je dois dire que la main vers le bas celui-ci doit avoir le plus PNJ se tiennent hors-ish jamais! Je ne pense même pas une de ces personnes est heureux de vous voir. Ils pourraient aussi bien ne pas être là du tout. Salut les gars! Je ne pense pas que vous devriez être si rude à Hercule! Il est le fils de Zues! En outre, il peut vous tuer réelle facilement. Je pense que ce la chose principale. Bon, eh bien, si je ne peux trouver aucune aide extérieure peut-être je vais trouver un peu d'aide à l'intérieur.
"Sortez de notre maison."
[Jon rit et facepalms]
Jon: Eh bien, oui. Je veux dire, je suppose que ce droit. Je pense que quelque chose de ce que serait dévie de la norme.
[Jon jette ses bras en l'air, obtient une bouteille de pilules et les avale tout]
Jon (voix intérieure): Je ne veux vraiment devenir immortel que beaucoup de toute façon. Trop de travail dur.
[Il boit alors une bouteille de vodka] [Chers enfants: S'il vous plaît ne vous tuez puis me poursuivre en justice.]
Jon (voix intérieure): On doit regarder les gens qui entrent et sortent de la Maison Blanche pour le reste du temps. Non merci, Samuel.
[CACA]
submitted by alexinkpen to JonTron [link] [comments]

Subreddit Stats: collapse top posts from 2016-11-15 to 2017-11-14 14:57 PDT

Period: 363.77 days
Submissions Comments
Total 1000 56801
Rate (per day) 2.75 155.54
Unique Redditors 321 5751
Combined Score 150174 331939

Top Submitters' Top Submissions

  1. 20994 points, 131 submissions: xrm67
    1. Coca-Cola increased its production of single-use plastic bottles by a billion last year: “We calculated it produced over 110bn throwaway plastic bottles every year –an astounding 3,400 a second– while refusing to take responsibility for its role in the plastic pollution crisis facing our oceans." (505 points, 30 comments)
    2. 100,000 newly released pages of Chemical Industry secrets “lay out a 40-year history of deceit and collusion involving the chemical industry and the regulatory agencies that were supposed to be protecting human health and the environment.” (409 points, 70 comments)
    3. Americans Are Retiring Later, Dying Sooner and Sicker In-Between: U.S. life expectancy is declining, new calculations show. (393 points, 123 comments)
    4. Kurt Vonnegut got it right... (389 points, 31 comments)
    5. In his five months on the job, Trump-appointed EPA chief Scott Pruitt has tried to block, delay or entirely uproot more than 30 environmental regulations. (340 points, 14 comments)
    6. Scientists categorize Earth as a 'toxic planet': "Earth, and all life on it, are being saturated with man-made chemicals in an event unlike anything in the planet's entire history." (339 points, 102 comments)
    7. Thirty countries use 'armies of opinion shapers' to manipulate democracy – report: “Governments are now using social media to suppress dissent and advance an anti-democratic agenda.” (305 points, 33 comments)
    8. Naval Exercises Add Trillions of Pieces of Plastic Debris to Oceans: "When taken together, the amount of environmental damage the US military is causing around the planet on an annual basis is nearly impossible to comprehend." (303 points, 33 comments)
    9. Biologists say half of all species could be extinct by end of century: “The living fabric of the world is slipping through our fingers without our showing much sign of caring.” (291 points, 48 comments)
    10. ‘Shell knew’: oil giant's 1991 film warned of climate change danger. Public information film unseen for years shows Shell had clear grasp of global warming 26 years ago but has not acted accordingly since. (288 points, 64 comments)
  2. 10390 points, 86 submissions: endtimesranter
    1. "Sadly, the truth is that much of the news that fills the 24-hour cycle simply isn’t newsworthy … and a lot of it really isn’t even news at all. It is mostly a serialized soap opera. It is personality-driven drivel. And it is rarely original reporting based on actual news..." (304 points, 58 comments)
    2. Dallas had never hit 90 degrees in November. It just did so three of the past four days. (276 points, 36 comments)
    3. Biologist: “We’re losing them right now, we’re losing them really quickly, much more quickly than I think any of us ever could have imagined.”- Coral Reefs Rapidly Dying Worldwide (243 points, 50 comments)
    4. The Trump administration's solution to climate change: ban the term - "a list of phrases to be avoided includes “climate change” and “climate change adaptation” “reduce greenhouse gases”, to be replaced by “weather extremes” and “resilience to weather extremes” Bahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (224 points, 39 comments)
    5. An analysis of 167 years of federal storm data by The Associated Press found that no 30-year period in history has seen this many major hurricanes, this many days of those whoppers spinning in the Atlantic, or this much overall energy generated by those powerful storms. (218 points, 20 comments)
    6. Industrial farming is driving the sixth mass extinction of life on Earth, says leading academic (204 points, 52 comments)
    7. Scientist: “Its pretty depressing that it’s only a couple of years since the 400 ppm milestone was toppled” – Global CO2 Emissions Just Breached 410ppm, Level Unseen In Millions Of Years (186 points, 32 comments)
    8. Climatologist: “It’s a scale we haven’t seen in recent history and it’s very concerning.” Forest Fires Worldwide Burning Longer At Greater Frequency & Intensity Across Wider Areas (185 points, 11 comments)
    9. FEMA Is Almost Out of Money and Hurricane Irma Is Approaching - Agency’s Disaster Relief Fund down to its last $1 billion - Fund has burned through half its money since Thursday morning (180 points, 73 comments)
    10. Abandon Florida? Not quite. But it’s time for a retreat from flood zones. --- "When you hear about a house in Houston, assessed at $72,400, that has received more than $1 million in payouts through the federal flood insurance program, it’s only natural to ask, “Why did we ever build there?" " (178 points, 61 comments)
  3. 6150 points, 36 submissions: eleitl
    1. Jesus. The House Science Committee just cited a false Breitbart report that the climate is cooling. Our Orwellian future is here. • /climate (759 points, 125 comments)
    2. [fun] 27 year-old who hasn't woken up before 9:30am in 8 years thinks he could run farm if society crumbles (380 points, 257 comments)
    3. Americans Losing Faith in College Degrees, Poll Finds (284 points, 155 comments)
    4. Coal mining health study is halted by Trump’s Interior Department – “Stopping this study is a ploy to stop science in its tracks and keep the public in the dark about health risks as a favor to the mining industry” (276 points, 62 comments)
    5. Fetal deaths rose 58% and fertility rates fell 12% after Flint switched to lead-poisoned water (265 points, 29 comments)
    6. Welcome to the new dark ages, where only the wealthy can retire (265 points, 120 comments)
    7. Al Gore: 'The rich have subverted all reason' (236 points, 117 comments)
    8. China Announces That It Will Cover Nearly A Quarter Of The Country In Forest By 2020… (235 points, 70 comments)
    9. Across 22 Countries, 57% of people think their country is in decline, 48% think young people will have worse lives than their generation, and 69% think the system is rigged against them. (199 points, 33 comments)
    10. The Invention of Capitalism: How a Self-Sufficient Peasantry was Whipped Into Industrial Wage Slaves (186 points, 153 comments)
  4. 6034 points, 38 submissions: cliffhanger1983
    1. Nowhere in America can a full-time minimum wage worker afford to rent a two-bedroom apartment (571 points, 217 comments)
    2. Get Rid of Capitalism? Millennials Are Ready to Talk About It - Bloomberg (334 points, 457 comments)
    3. Stanford Study: Poor children remain poor, rich children get even richer - MarketWatch (259 points, 72 comments)
    4. Feds Say It's Too Dangerous To Share Dakota Access Oil Spill Report-DAPL SPILL!! (249 points, 17 comments)
    5. Noam Chomsky: Imagine a World Without Neoliberals Privatizing Everything in Sight - Alternet (246 points, 46 comments)
    6. Grim report shows teen suicide rate at 40-year high (245 points, 95 comments)
    7. U.S. is a 'danger to the world', warns top economist - Reuters (239 points, 68 comments)
    8. Two-thirds say this is the lowest point in U.S. history—and it’s keeping a lot of them up at night (216 points, 113 comments)
    9. Global inequality much worse than previously thought, say economists (204 points, 62 comments)
    10. A whopping 72% of all US businesses are NOT profitable. (174 points, 71 comments)
  5. 5286 points, 25 submissions: veraknow
    1. Fentanyl is the number one cause of US overdoses. The maker of a fentanyl drug was the largest donor to the campaign opposing marijuana legalisation in Arizona. (927 points, 74 comments)
    2. Oklahoma hits 100°F in the dead of winter (349 points, 127 comments)
    3. Republicans move to sell off 3.3m acres of national land - land that provides corridors for gray wolves and grizzly bears and is the winter pasture for big game species. (335 points, 46 comments)
    4. I went to the NY and Paris climate conferences in an official capacity. I have seen what "climate action" looks like. We need more alarmism. (311 points, 140 comments)
    5. Avoiding Two Degrees of Warming 'Is Now Totally Unrealistic' - UN IPCC author (304 points, 191 comments)
    6. Record 37% of children in the UK forecast to be in poverty by 2022, undoing all progress in the last 20 years (289 points, 85 comments)
    7. Geophysicist writes paper titled: “Is Earth F**ked?” Answers: "more or less." (258 points, 88 comments)
    8. Brazil to open Amazon rainforest national reserve for mining, cancelling its nature reserve status (249 points, 49 comments)
    9. Japan declares Ogasawara Islands coral extinct (the Chinese poached it all for jewellery) (245 points, 34 comments)
    10. New Zealand plans for 3 coal mines would require clear cutting of forests in an area of outstanding biodiversity - with the coal itself shipped to developing countries (188 points, 36 comments)
  6. 3515 points, 28 submissions: ReverseEngineer77
    1. Detroit's unaffordable water hints at a U.S. crisis to come (264 points, 41 comments)
    2. Over 2000 Veterans To Form Human Shield At Dakota Pipeline Protest (220 points, 67 comments)
    3. Someone deleted some code in a popular cryptocurrency wallet — and as much as $280 million in ethereum is locked up (and...it's GONE!) (201 points, 123 comments)
    4. Army denies Dakota pipeline permit, in victory for Native tribes (174 points, 10 comments)
    5. We Do Not Live in “Post Truth” World, We Live in a World of Lies and We Always Have (170 points, 102 comments)
    6. ‘If anyone can hear us … help.’ Puerto Rico’s mayors describe widespread devastation from Hurricane Maria (164 points, 21 comments)
    7. Three billionaires are wealthier than half the US population (161 points, 40 comments)
    8. So many journalists have been killed in Mexico this year that a newspaper is shutting down (157 points, 28 comments)
    9. Paradise Papers: Tax haven secrets of ultra-rich exposed (145 points, 9 comments)
    10. ...AND SO IT BEGINS: World facing greatest humanitarian crisis since 1945 (136 points, 189 comments)
  7. 3460 points, 26 submissions: finiteworld
    1. Planet Will Burn Before Corporate Media Covers Climate Change as Existential Threat (220 points, 20 comments)
    2. 'Psychologically scarred' millennials are killing dozens of industries — and it's their parents' fault (213 points, 177 comments)
    3. Earth's oceans are warming 13% faster than thought, and accelerating (210 points, 44 comments)
    4. UN experts denounce 'myth' pesticides are necessary to feed the world (199 points, 35 comments)
    5. Somalia: 'People are dying..there's no water' (187 points, 95 comments)
    6. Silicon Valley Is Not Your Friend (181 points, 48 comments)
    7. The Paris climate deal won't save us, our future depends on de-growth (166 points, 88 comments)
    8. 'People aren't spending': stores close doors in 'oversaturated' US retail market (157 points, 72 comments)
    9. How Technology Hijacks People’s Minds - It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they’ve been fooled. (148 points, 11 comments)
    10. The great climate silence: we are on the edge of the abyss but we ignore it (144 points, 83 comments)
  8. 2779 points, 21 submissions: MrVisible
    1. Neoliberalism has conned us into fighting climate change as individuals (367 points, 78 comments)
    2. Global Ocean Circulation Appears To Be Collapsing Due To A Warming Planet (198 points, 55 comments)
    3. People who don't have children benefit our environment more than any campaign – it's time to celebrate them (191 points, 164 comments)
    4. Rigged. Forced into debt. Worked past exhaustion. Left with nothing. (182 points, 81 comments)
    5. How A Warm Winter Destroyed 85 Percent Of Georgia's Peaches (146 points, 21 comments)
    6. Harvey destroyed hundreds of thousands of cars in a city that relies heavily on them (132 points, 98 comments)
    7. Spring is more than two weeks early in the American southeast (128 points, 53 comments)
    8. Climate change might be worse than thought after scientists find major mistake in water temperature readings (124 points, 20 comments)
    9. Rising CO2 Levels Are Sapping Staple Crops Of Their Protein & Iron Content (122 points, 11 comments)
    10. 102 million dead California trees unprecedented in our modern history, officials say (121 points, 32 comments)
  9. 2594 points, 15 submissions: hillsfar
    1. Children of Men predicted a future of mass poverty, extreme class divide, a worsening refugee crisis, environmental ruin, and worldwide infertility. It becomes more real every day. (Seen in /lost generation) (454 points, 150 comments)
    2. Dollar General Hits a Gold Mine in Rural America. In the poorest towns, where even Wal-Mart doesn't want to go, Dollar General is moving in and turning a profit. "Essentially what the dollar stores are betting on in a large way is that we are going to have a permanent underclass in America". (408 points, 159 comments)
    3. Bluefin Tuna at the Brink: "Bluefins caught today are mostly juveniles, up to 98% of total catch. They have not reproduced and never will because they’ll never have the opportunity." (303 points, 87 comments)
    4. How We REALLY Deal with Climate Crisis: "Those of us working to avoid the worst of the climate crisis must be honest with ourselves. Humanity does not have the cultural capacities to make the transition and avoid systemic collapse" (221 points, 94 comments)
    5. Slow Crash: Two years before the 2008 crash, Harper's published a dark prophecy of what was to come. Now: "It’s more like a slow crash". "The whole economy at the end of the road is going to look like Greece or Spain or Portugal or Italy." (163 points, 20 comments)
    6. The harsh truth about economic inequality, based on thousands of years of evidence: "only the so-called 'four horsemen' of war, disease, state collapse and revolution have succeeded in leveling income" (155 points, 72 comments)
    7. Battered Puerto Rico hospitals on life support after Hurricane Maria: "If this is not taken care of, people are going to start dying". (143 points, 31 comments)
    8. Arkema Warns It Can't Prevent Potential Chemical Explosion in Texas: "As soon as the chemicals begin to degrade they start to 'self-accelerate' in a type of no-turning-back mode"... (120 points, 33 comments)
    9. Extremely Nasty Climate Wake-Up: "...sudden changes in the ecosystem are causing climate scientists to stop and ponder what’s happening to our planet, like never before." "...A team of UK scientists discovered 8,000 blue lakes formed in East Antarctica" (111 points, 11 comments)
    10. Our Planet Is So Fucked That Some Women Are Choosing to Not Have Kids: "There's this number, 9,441. That's the amount of additional metric tons of carbon you add to the atmosphere for every child you have." (100 points, 102 comments)
  10. 1962 points, 11 submissions: MichaelTen
    1. Millennial households are poorer than any other generation: Study (350 points, 156 comments)
    2. Bernie Sanders warns of 'international oligarchy' after Paradise Papers leak (317 points, 122 comments)
    3. TIL that 69% of Americans Have Less Than $1,000 USD in Savings, as of September 2016 (253 points, 140 comments)
    4. It Is Becoming Illegal To Be Homeless In America As Houston, Dallas And Dozens Of Other Cities Pass Draconian Laws (172 points, 44 comments)
    5. Tyson Foods Linked to Largest Toxic Dead Zone in U.S. History (170 points, 16 comments)
    6. Rigorous Study Finds Antidepressants Worsen Long-Term Outcomes (164 points, 62 comments)
    7. Casino Magnate Wants to Kill Bill That Would Make Nevada a Renewable Energy Powerhouse (154 points, 16 comments)
    8. Medical Debt Is the Top Cause of South Florida Homelessness, Survey Says (117 points, 8 comments)
    9. How 90% of American Households Lost an Average of $17,000 in Wealth to the Plutocrats in 2016 (104 points, 16 comments)
    10. Most Americans’ best days are behind them. Median household income peaked at least 15 years ago in 81 percent of U.S. counties. Use this interactive map to see when each county peaked. (83 points, 4 comments)
  11. 1893 points, 12 submissions: FF00A7
    1. The ozone layer is as thin as it was 30 years ago and not recovering as predicted due to new unregulated chemicals. (367 points, 41 comments)
    2. Oxygen levels ‘falling 2 to 3 times faster than predicted’ in warming oceans (216 points, 32 comments)
    3. Trump wants to pay coal companies $15/ton to burn more coal. (183 points, 48 comments)
    4. Depletion of dissolved oxygen in oceans is occurring much faster than expected, new study. "This scares me more than arctic methane." (174 points, 23 comments)
    5. Even If We Cut All Energy And Transportation Emissions, The Meat And Dairy Will Kill Us (164 points, 139 comments)
    6. Hurricane Irma covered Florida with a film of poop. (142 points, 23 comments)
    7. World must hit zero carbon emissions 'well before 2040', scientists warn - New research suggests it will be an ‘enormous challenge’ to prevent global warming getting out of hand (133 points, 56 comments)
    8. Disaster Capitalism: 2-person 2-year old company in hometown of Interior Secretary Ryan Zinke lands $300 million contract to rebuild Puerto Rico electric grid. (130 points, 20 comments)
    9. "It would seem that man is destined to exterminate himself after having rendered the globe uninhabitable" (Jean-Baptiste de Lamarck, 1820) (114 points, 9 comments)
    10. Putin says expects 'fake' gas attacks by USA, "they are planning to again plant some substance and accuse the Syrian authorities". (103 points, 32 comments)

Top Commenters

  1. MrVisible (6341 points, 556 comments)
  2. NICK16_06 (4235 points, 445 comments)
  3. xrm67 (3028 points, 255 comments)

Top Submissions

  1. Fentanyl is the number one cause of US overdoses. The maker of a fentanyl drug was the largest donor to the campaign opposing marijuana legalisation in Arizona. by veraknow (927 points, 74 comments)
  2. Jesus. The House Science Committee just cited a false Breitbart report that the climate is cooling. Our Orwellian future is here. • /climate by eleitl (759 points, 125 comments)
  3. Carl Sagan in 1996. by boldra (677 points, 116 comments)
  4. Environmentalists Are Ignoring the Elephant In the Room: U.S. Military Is the World’s Largest Polluter - The US Department of Defence is one of the world’s worst polluters, its footprint dwarfs that of any corporation. by xleb1 (594 points, 147 comments)
  5. Nowhere in America can a full-time minimum wage worker afford to rent a two-bedroom apartment by cliffhanger1983 (571 points, 217 comments)
  6. FBI Uncovers Al-Qaeda Plot To Just Sit Back And Enjoy Collapse Of United States by factczech (522 points, 43 comments)
  7. Coca-Cola increased its production of single-use plastic bottles by a billion last year: “We calculated it produced over 110bn throwaway plastic bottles every year –an astounding 3,400 a second– while refusing to take responsibility for its role in the plastic pollution crisis facing our oceans." by xrm67 (505 points, 30 comments)
  8. Professor Joseph Stiglitz : Inequality is killing America. Employee income is lower than before, suicides, drugs and alcoholism is rising. Life expectancy is now going down for middle-aged white Americans. I was Chief Economist of the World Bank in the 90s, this looks like the Soviet collapse by alllie (500 points, 103 comments)
  9. Children of Men predicted a future of mass poverty, extreme class divide, a worsening refugee crisis, environmental ruin, and worldwide infertility. It becomes more real every day. (Seen in /lost generation) by hillsfar (454 points, 150 comments)
  10. The people of South Dakota democratically pass a sweeping anti-corruption bill. Republican legislature calls for "emergency" measures, cancels law, and blocks it from appearing on future ballots. by magnora7 (446 points, 34 comments)

Top Comments

  1. 392 points: CrankyDude16bit's comment in Millennials earn 20% less than Boomers did at same stage of life
  2. 259 points: MrVisible's comment in Where Did All the Men Go? The rise of the unworking. America has suffered a quiet catastrophe in the collapse of work for men
  3. 246 points: entropys_child's comment in 'Psychologically scarred' millennials are killing dozens of industries — and it's their parents' fault
  4. 187 points: deleted's comment in millennials, regardless of politics, can agree that society is fundamentally and irreparably ‘broken’
  5. 183 points: MrVisible's comment in Is anyone sick of the argument that, somehow, gay people and transsexuals are proof that Western civilization is in decline?
  6. 178 points: lazlounderhill's comment in In Orange County, California, you need $28 USD per hour to buy a one-room apartment. 70% of area jobs don't pay that much.
  7. 170 points: MakeTotalDestr0i's comment in Nowhere in America can a full-time minimum wage worker afford to rent a two-bedroom apartment
  8. 163 points: MrVisible's comment in How does one endure this shit show?
  9. 159 points: thewisesloth's comment in Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation? More comfortable online than out partying, post-Millennials are safer, physically, than adolescents have ever been. But they’re on the brink of a mental-health crisis.
  10. 157 points: radical_vegan's comment in Why Are More American Teenagers Than Ever Suffering From Severe Anxiety?
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